Sunday, October 8, 2017

How To

How to diagnose and fix everything.
How to lose belly fat fast.
How to work for yourself: 100 ways
to make everybody love you.

How to grow a vegetable,
analyze people,
say no,
make money online.
How to survive the zombie apocalypse
and write a sizzling synopsis.

How to get others to do what you want.
How to write erotica
and fail at almost everything.

How to answer interview questions,
bake a murder,
start a profitable blog.

How to remove
all negative items
from your credit report
and be
a 3% man.

How to write,
learn liberalism,
lose a husband,
ruin everything.

How to develop
strong, positive habits
to conquer the future
when there is none.

For Poetry Pantry at Poets United

Note: If you have any positive energy to spare, please, send it my way.  My Baby Puppy is in the hospital.  The prognosis is positive, but I'd still appreciate your prayers.

19 comments:

John Buchanan said...

My thoughts are with you and your puppy.
'Chin up' as we Brits say.

brudberg said...

I send you all the positive thoughts I can muster... love how you make poetry of what could be the content of my spam box

indybev said...

How to add a final line "How to believe there is a future"!

This reads like every commercial on late night TV! Cleverly written.

Sherry Marr said...

I will be thinking of you and your Baby Puppy, and hope she makes a full recovery soon. You must be so worried. I relate completely to your poem..........words for our times........hang in there, kiddo. All will be well.

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Sending love and prayers your way!

Wendy Bourke said...

You make a clever case for: How to Live in a Moment. An awesome piece of writing!

Prayers for Puppy - hope he is home with you soon.

J. T said...

haha there's some humor here and there's truth here and there's wisdom here. You nailed them all my friend. good day!

Magaly Guerrero said...

Sending you healing hugs and keeping you and your puppy in my thoughts.

Magaly Guerrero said...

P.S. Your How-To poem makes me wonder if you've been hacking my inbox lately. ;-)

Mary said...

This indeed is HOW TO write a poem!! Smiles.

Marja said...

Sending healing light and prayers
Love the ending Powerful and clever poem

Thotpurge said...

Wishes for a quick recovery for your pup...

R.K. Garon said...

well written point. But, then I never gave a sh*t
ZQ

Namy said...

The how to questions seem to reflect the top 20 things people are searching in Google these days. Sending All the posivity I can muster up your way

grapeling said...

good luck, you all ~

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Tsk! You forgot about how to become proficient in any language in a couple of weeks. That one tempts me sometimes .. and of course the belly fat. But, in the face of no future, I am weeding out the ones I am never going to get to anyway. Killer last line.

Sending good vibes for Baby Puppy.

Fireblossom said...

Funny how everybody thinks this post is funny. Anyway, best to BP.

Kerry O'Connor said...

So many self-help gurus out there - you nailed it with your list.

Sending loving thoughts to you and your daughter.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Love your listing here. "tis tragicomic. Love and prayers to you and your little one.