Ahhh... so that's what happens when you look.
Best place to look... and it's not a sin.
Wow! This is spectacular!
I don't know why, mama Zen, but the dark suggestion of your poem brought to mind the preacher in that film with Robert Mitchum, 'The Night of the Hunter'.
I think you should break the final line in half, dropping down the last few words after "God." To me, the flow would be better.Also: I love this poem! I can so get down with the spirit of this. (I was a horse girl too.) I also like flip-flopping the closing into "I found a gift horse in God's eye." Or, "I found a gift --- whores in God's sigh." Is that blasphemous? Or is that just cool? I think there are whores in God's eyes. There have to be. The woman at the well and everything ...And ... this is very, very bad of me, but I see "Cold Come Fort" in your title. :X Don't hate me. I can't help it.
Probably anywhere is a good place to look. Nice rhyme between "dry" and "eye".
You always manage to catch in so few lines the prairie wind that winnows dross from gold.
Just So tight. Like a well oiled blues band.
Sounds bleak and yet triumphant.
terrifically terse :)
Post a Comment