Sunday, September 4, 2016

Norman's Finest

Norman's finest waits
at the end of my street
in case my dogs bark.

My neighbor called in a tip;
swore he heard a yip
or maybe a growl.

It'd been a while since I'd seen
a man so buff
carrying handcuffs -

enough to drive a woman
to kick her dog
to make it howl.

Note: True story!  The police officer that came to my door was just a kid, but he was HUGE. Coincidentally, I read a story in my local paper about him just a few days later; he's a world class competitive bodybuilder.  Not to be outdone, the neighbor mentioned in the poem is a world class asshat.

55 words for Kerry at Real Toads.  Also submitted to Poetry Pantry.

25 comments:

Thotpurge said...

Delightful !!!

Joon said...

This is so good. :)

Sioux said...

Mama Zen--You can take a real-life experience and make it into a wonderful poem. Asshat. I love it.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Hahaaa! I roared with laughter - especially after reading your note. This is pricelessly perfect.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

OMG, people who complain about dogs barking drive me over the edge. Love that the officer is so buff, at least!

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Only you can create such magic on page ❤💜 Love it!!

Jae Rose said...

Thank you for making me chuckle today Mama Z - any chance he could come and sort my neighbors..they are world class ass-hats!

brudberg said...

Ha.. is then the dog a woman's best friend... maybe it would have been time to thank your neighbor...

Did I hear Diana Ross singing Muscles too?

Gillena Cox said...

good one (smiles)

much love...

Fireblossom said...

Kick the neighbor instead!

Debi Swim said...

hahha. Leave it to you to find the silver lining.

Mary said...

That is quite a tale. And your comment at the end made me chuckle!

ayala said...

Smiles...

Susan said...

My goodness ... desperation! Hahaha.

angieinspired said...

everything's okay in OK. I agree with Fireblossom...kick the neighbor instead.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Great story.

Julian said...

Asshat, now that made me really smile, and for a Monday morning just before setting out to work too....having said that I enjoyed reading your piece.

kaykuala said...

A true story will always invoke a lot of sympathy for those at the receiving end. We somehow feel for them!

Hank

Kim M. Russell said...

Dogs and handcuffs - a glimpse of life! Extraordinary!

Old Egg said...

Although 'Asshat' is not an expression used here it is beautifully descriptive and they are found in every corner of the globe!

hedgewitch said...

Where asshats and the law meet, the dog might not want to bark too loud--lots of fun here, MZ--something about a man in a uniform... hope the earthquake didn't shake things up too bad your way.

Magaly Guerrero said...

You are a brewer of howling laughter. I saw the buffed man... bursting out of his uniform.

R.K. Garon said...

Yup! Somehow, without ever finding why, some assrat moves in wherever we are :)
However, I'm in the mts. where they are afraid of heights, so I'm good to go :)
ZQ

Outlawyer said...

Ha. Very funny as a poem, but a creepy story. Really, yikes. Awful that someone would do that. k.

grapeling said...

poor fido will be seeing your boot quite a bit now, eh? :) ~