Saturday, October 3, 2015

The Thinnest Ice

It's too late
for thinking twice
when your feet have found
the thinnest ice
where the wine sweet shine
of spring's first thaw
has loosened
winter's grinding jaw.

It's too late
for turning back
once you've heard
that sharp, clean CRACK
and far too late
for wondering then
just how deep
and cold the swim.

55 words for Kerry at Real Toads

18 comments:

Susan said...

O fate, O ice, only before we venture can we think twice. This pertains to MANY situations. Thawing resolve and morality are tricky.

Rommy said...

I think I like best the mention of spring, usually a symbol of optimism and hope in the new growth of life, being the cause of the ice's frailty. It speaks of folly in blind optimism with no cause.

Outlawyer said...

Ha. I have broken ice to swim. (One wouldn't actually call it swimming.) It is like this poem. (But not perhaps so well done.) k.

Outlawyer said...

Ha. I have broken ice to swim. (One wouldn't actually call it swimming.) It is like this poem. (But not perhaps so well done.) k.

rhymeswithbug said...

There are words of wisdom and warning here

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Another wonderful write! (Albeit also a warning.)

Susie Clevenger said...

Amazing as always...Politically, I feel we are all walking on thin ice.

brudberg said...

I have been lucky enough never to break that ice.. But I guess there is less gain if you never venture out. You make Mongolia for winter though..

Sioux said...

The last line in each stanza is especially delicious.

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is a brilliant metaphor - i felt like i was out on that ice, waiting or the first crack to appear.

Fireblossom said...

This must. be. published.

hedgewitch said...

Really, no one does this as well as you do, MZ. The package is a ticking time bomb, neatly tied in red ribbon on the subway seat beside us. An apposite metaphor of a step too far that must be taken, even if it brings us as close to death as lip to kiss.

blueoran said...

Weird, this was the vibe I started with, at that cracking immanent precipice of the last wrong step. Something about the song started me there. I didn't have the brains to write it the way you did here.

Isadora Gruye said...

I like the rhyme and meter here, but think you've gone above and beyond in the slippery feel of some of these syllables. Example: It's too late for thinking twice when your feet have found the thinnest ice." that line slips nicely when read outlaid, giving a meta-feel. Well done and viva la

R.K. Garon said...

Yikes ! I shivered. Well done.
ZQ

grapeling said...

superb and suspensful ~

Marian said...

Oh, man! A cautionary tale. Excellent

Margaret said...

I think you've just described swimming in Northern Michigan come June :) No, but close. This is so awesome... "wine sweet shine" - oh, that first touch of sun and LIGHT when I lived up north after a long cloudy winter. I love living in the south where the sun is always out...