Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Real Surreal

My little girl is eleven.  That's

three years away
from my first beer
cigarette
lover

four years away
from my first misdemeanor
and the felonies that followed

five years away
from me choosing to waste
the brains
the good Lord gave me

and six years away
from those other mistakes
I've spent myself trying
to take back.

For Midweek Motif ~ Choice at Poets United.  Also submitted to The Tuesday Platform at Real Toads.

28 comments:

Sylvia K said...

A lot of truth on different levels for many of us to confront with this piece of wisdom, MZ!!

Susan said...

Those times that reality is the most surreal of all. What a realization! It will speak to many.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Such a few years between eleven and fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Scary for a mom when our daughters approach those terrible years. With you by her side to keep her safe, hopefully she will navigate those perilous waters well. Some do. Your poem really hits home, my friend.

Magical Mystical Teacher said...

Despite your regrets, I sense an underlying note of hope.

Gillena Cox said...

Nicely chronicled. The spirit parent watching.

Have a good Wednesday

Much love...

De said...

Mine is 12 (and my son is 13), and I cannot tell you how many times I have thought these things. May their choices be different than our own. Well done.

Mary said...

Whew, MZ....scary, isn't it, as you see your own daughter growing up? Facing some of the choices you faced? I understand your fear. Every mother's fear. We must hope and pray and be present and watchful in our children's lives, I think. (And I in my grandchildren's lives...my grandson is now 12.)

brudberg said...

I have a feeling being a teenager means a you will do mistakes... the only difference between success and failure is often how we are caught... Most of us do get through though, hopefully having learnt from some mistakes.. but yes it's a concern. Tomorrow we will take out Godson (he's 15) to see Cabaret...

Sanaa Rizvi said...

So profound!!

Gail said...

So many have "wasted the brains the Good Lord gave us" This is when the line, Do what I say, not what I do, comes in handy.

As always, total enjoyment from your write.

Fireblossom said...

They survive us and they survive themselves. Just as we did.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Well, maybe her teenage rebellion will go the opposite way. One can but hope. However, Fireblossom's comment is the best!

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

So much life and so many choices packed into so few years--I get your piece on so many levels--

thotpurge said...

That's tough introspection.. nicely done!

Sumana Roy said...

though they do not know what is what the young ones are strong as well to survive but worries, fears never leave the parents...sigh..

Susie Clevenger said...

It is scary at times to see your child reach the age when you wrote foolish with the ink of mistakes.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Nothing like a year by year comparison of oneself with one's child to bring a whole new perspective to one's own life, and choices.

This poem speaks for every parent. Thanks, MZ.

debispoems said...

Hopefully your experiences will help you steer her clear of a lot of trouble. Raising children is such a blessing and at the same time so scary.

Yvonne Osborne said...

Another good poem. Laced with regret,I could wallow in regret. Is there no end to your genius?

Outlawyer said...

Enjoy 11! It is a wonderful age. I think you've taken a great deal back wonderfully. ((Though don't really view the poem as autobiographical either.) I don't regret any misdemeanors personally, and was not brave enough for felonies. I regret more of the dutiful stuff honestly--well, some of it--k.

Jae Rose said...

What a honest and searing poem - I think she will be fine - you are her Mama after all ;)

G L Meisner said...

The best part of a bad choice is we can choose to correct it. We can choose to help others make better choices.

humbird said...

Much math in these lines...and teens feel so wise in this age of 11... Enjoy and be the best friend to her.

Old Egg said...

We will be pretty idle and bored if we don't make a few mistakes in our lives. The secret is to learn from them and not repeat them.

blueoran said...

Savor it, and know that all the heart poured into this and her is the real poetry she will learn to sing for herself. Maybe with a little payback for the grief your sins caused others. :)

Kim Nelson said...

WHOA!
What a lot to consider.
My mom had 4 kids by the time she was 21. She might relate to a lot of this piece.

Nicholas V said...

Whenever I find myself regretting that I don;t have any children of my own, I am also relieved. Such an enormous responsibility that every parent must bear, all those choices every day that he or she must make, all that worry, that anxiety must be such huge burden on one's soul. However, the joys of parenthood must also figure in there, as well...
Well-penned!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Too fucking good, this was. Bril, and I don't throw that around lightly.