Saturday, September 12, 2015

Portion

More formaldehyde than flowers,
these hours blooming
in the break
of our shared rib;

I tend them and call them comfort.

I'm terrified and I cower
at the ruin
ghosting beneath your skin;
still, I intend

to take it as a lover

and claim
whatever portion's mine.

Just the same as you -
whatever portion's mine.

For Grace's prompt at Real Toads

15 comments:

Sylvia K said...

You do the greatest things with prompts and they never cease to amaze me!! Thank you, again and as always, for sharing!! Hope your weekend is going well!!

the last ember eye said...

"still, I in(wardly)-tend" ... Smart writing. What a superb opening line.

Hannah said...

Love the shared rib line - and the idea of a slow passing paling...intriguing. Well done, MZ!

kaykuala said...

Appears to be what is yours is mine and what is mine stays. Wonderful take MZ!

Hank

Sherry Blue Sky said...

The lead-in paragraph is an astonishing hook. Wow! So effective the "ruin ghosting beneath your skin" and the claiming "whatever portion's mine." Fantastic writing, as always, MZ.

Gail said...

I want your muse and mine to meet so mine can learn to talk this wonderfully.

I loved ever space of this.

brudberg said...

I have never read anything that so quickly bring love an death together so beautifully..

Grace said...

These portions are so deadly ~ You got the theme of Thom Gunn ~ Thanks for participating & Happy Sunday ~

Sioux said...

I loved the repeated line, "whatever portion's mine."

Outlawyer said...

One does feel so deeply the aging of one's self and one's partner and the way you describe the ghosting beneath the skin is very powerful. And of course one is a bit part of that decay as well as taking it for a coupled lover--at least, I'm sure I age my husband! (And am aged in turn.) Thanks. k. (I'm afraid my poem is super long--so sorry--I absolve you in advance from reading it! It is much too long. I got involved in Gunn's poems about AIDS, which has a lot of resonance for me having lived in NYC in 80s--but just made it very hard to write anything reasonable.) You are always so terrifically distilled--which I greatly admire. k.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Inspired indeed!

angie w said...

Superb. Nothing else.

Kerry O'Connor said...

What a wonderful poem, MZ. You always seem to know exactly what to say and when to stop.

Fireblossom said...

Just a microcosm of what you do:

"More formaldehyde than flowers,
these hours blooming
in the break
of our shared rib;"

FormaLdehyde/FLowers, THan/THese, flowers/hours, MORE/FORmaldehyde, flowerS/theSe/hourS, Blooming/Break,riB, bReak/shaRed/Rib.

That's just one 14-word stanza. You have the golden ear, the musical bent, and are just some kind of kick-ass natural born poet.


Or, if you prefer: "Intriguing!"

Susie Clevenger said...

What an opening...There is more death/chemical preservation than the life and scent of blooming. A fabulous poem as only you can pen.