Thursday, August 6, 2015

When Ravens

When ravens hung the sun,
nested the moon,
and brought forth fire,
I walked on many legs
through not quite creation.

Not formless,
but faceless -
I was the smell of rain.
Not LET THERE BE,
but the mud-vased seed
of an apple.

For Artistic Impressions at Real Toads

18 comments:

Fireblossom said...

Those are some cool ravens. They set a remarkable tone that carries throughout.

Sylvia K said...

Yep, I do agree with Fireblossom!! Cool ravens indeed!! Have a great weekend!!

Gail said...

I just come to read and I am blown away, time and time again.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Your imagery is astounding. Yes, mind-blowing. That is the word.

Susan said...

Exquisite to have in the beginning the Ravens busy with things and seeds that grow in rain and sun and pots, while the word/s for this creation is not yet formed.

brudberg said...

Like your own genesis, creating that apple out of the terra cotta

Sioux said...

"...the mud-vased seed" is a beyond-beautiful phrase.

georgeplaceblog said...

Strong images, mythic

Outlawyer said...

Beautiful poem, MZ> k.

aris said...

The speaker is temptation itself, in both serpent form and baby apple. This line is the hinge-point for me: "I was the smell of rain." This is the most beautiful, fulfilling, sense-sharpening thing. It makes everything perk up. We pretend like we hate temptation, like it's so bad. But really, it's pretty damn delicious. We love to hate it and hate to love it. But the truth is, it makes us feel alive. So as dark as your poem is, there's also a beauty sitting right in its center ... like a seed.

aris said...

I see this as an alternative version of the creation story in which the ravens represent more of a malevolent, demonic, or at least playful god (or gods). Of course, what happens to apples? The ravens eat them, and it becomes a cycle. As we all know, I think everything has sexual undertones, so I see that here as well. The fire represents passion. Midday passion, as the moon is napping. So it's not tucked away and secret; it's slammed right out there in front of everyone. The "ravens" invented every kind of passion. They'll feed it to you, and they'll eat it themselves. Not formless, but faceless: You can't see them coming until it's too late.

Hannah said...

Geesh...this is so intense...your brevity and tone fits the topic pitch perfectly...so enjoyable MZ!

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Love the creation story of the raven here. Not formless, but faceless, that void... this is powerful. Amy

humbird said...

Original and deep, love the universal images and an apple - the best!

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love how you found a metaphor for creation in the artistry of a handcrafted vase.

grapeling said...

I wish I could write as well as you ~

Susie Clevenger said...

I'm with Grapeling...If only I could write so beautifully, say so much with such an economy of words.

Margaret said...

Just the thought of hanging the sun thrilled me to no end. We are on vacation in the Smokies and nature is like a canvas - and somehow nesting the moon and having the animals play an integral part just seems so real here...