Thursday, April 23, 2015

Last Legs Of A Long Night

On the last legs of a long night,
I hold myself awake counting
breaks in my bones.

On the last legs of a long night,
I rock myself to sleep singing
home is where the heart blood flows.

On the broad back of the morning,
I know just what to say.
On the swayback of the evening,
I fall apart like rain.

On the last legs of a long night,
I hold myself awake counting mistakes.

6, 7, 8.

On the last legs of loving you,
I hold myself awake counting
sins.

On the last legs of loving you,
I rock myself to sleep singing
ways to make us good again.

On the broad back of the morning,
hope's a fickle star.
By the swayback of the evening,
I'm wondering where you are.

On the last legs of loving you,
I hold myself awake counting
sins

I won't forgive.  9, 10.

On my last legs for Karin at Real Toads

20 comments:

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Oh I adore this.. :D
We often stay up late at night and think about stuff for which don't have time in the day... the "Last legs" of the night help us reach a conclusion which we so desperately seek :D

Loved these lines:

On the last leg of loving you,
I hold myself awake
counting sins.

On the whole.. the poem is absolutely beautiful..! :D
xoxo

Fireblossom said...

I was lulled by the very song-like quality of this, and then you pulled off that amazing ending where you go back to the counting. The first time, with the 6-7-8, I thought you did it for the rhyme, and then it turned out to be pivotal, and really clever and emotional. Wow, good stuff, woman!

Sylvia K said...

Ah, beautiful it is indeed and how many of us have been there at one time or another -- counting sins, ours or those of someone else! You never fail to amaze me, MZ! Great stuff indeed!

Outlawyer said...

A very moving poem, MZ. Really I am very touched by it; it would resonate with many I think. k.

Rommy said...

This has such an lovely lyrical quality to it, even with the weariness of a love long gone sour. Maybe it's that ability to romanticize the things that aren't so lovely anymore that make us stay well past the point where we should have left. Great stuff.

hedgewitch said...

Agree with Shay on the melodic quality, only enhanced by that chorus feel to 'last legs' as a repeating element. This would make a great country song, except it's not trite enough. The 'swayback of the evening' is brilliant.

ayala said...

Good stuff !

Gillena Cox said...

Nice, liked the repetition and the circular motion of ending like the beginning. Reminds me of a night of insomnia, when thought move in circles
Thanks for dropping in to read mine

Much love...

Gillena Cox said...

Nice, liked the repetition and the circular motion of ending like the beginning. Reminds me of a night of insomnia, when thought move in circles
Thanks for dropping in to read mine

Much love...

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Ooh, dis was good. I felt it deep in my soul and i really liked the lyrical quality of it. Fantastic.

Gail said...

You can tell I'm not a writer because all the words I can come up with are "WOW!"

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh this is what life feels like, for sure..........the counting is brilliant....."how to make it good again." Sigh. Poignant.

Jim said...

I'm not on my last leg the way you wrote, but "I," like your poet says, "don't forgive."
For 45 years I haven't forgiven. It was the 'unforgiveable sin.' I don't think I ever will.
..

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

What a marvellous poem / song. Says it all — complete, beautiful and haunting.

Other Mary said...

This is so very good. I wish I had written it.

Sumana Roy said...

beautiful & poignant

Ella said...

This could be a song~ I love how you looped it!

Hannah said...

God!! This gives me goosebumps. I just watched a play that my sister was in,"A Streetcar Named Desire," which was VERY difficult for me to watch and wow...your poem falls right into place...poignant and powerful, Mama Zen.

Kerry O'Connor said...

There is something so very human in this litany - admissions, recognition and perseverance in your list of 'last legs'.

One of your best this month - an amazing feat for day 23.

grapeling said...

some songs sting more than others. like this ~