Tuesday, April 7, 2015

It Started With Stars

It started with stars.
They're not what they seem.
Distant and dying,
but trying to be
the shine of the symptom
not the dark hole disease

they're feeding.

Still thinking about the stars for The Tuesday Platform at Real Toads

23 comments:

Sylvia K said...

Oh, YES!! And no one says/writes it better, MZ!! Hope your week is off to a great start! Enjoy!

Other Mary said...

Distand and dying...but aren't we all?

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Absolutely breath-taking... I love it!
xoxo

Shawna said...

This is about the life of a wife and mother. You feel like you're perpetuating the cycle of suffering, sacrifice, and depression (the "disease"). Mothers are teaching their daughters how to put themselves last so that everyone else can be taken care of and have what they need. But even though you're miserable, you do hope you can "shine" at doing it. ~By trying to smile and be cheerful through it all, for example. And looking pretty.

That's what I see, anyway.

I love this:
"the shine of the symptom
not the dark hole disease"

And also the impact of the space before the last line. It makes me think they're feeding others and the disease, but also that they're feeding themselves at the teat of a generation of mothers who came before them.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh, this is an aspect of stars I had not thought about. Very cool, MZ.

Outlawyer said...

A very interesting poem, MZ--I don't really see it as being about mothers but maybe stars--real ones and celebrities too--certainly there is a void that we use them to try to fill--you are doing great this month--thank you. k .

Debi Swim said...

I guess it can be read in several ways according to each person's thoughts but it is still an interesting wording - I like "but trying to be the shine"

Kerry O'Connor said...

I wish I could express such a wealth of wisdom and knowledge in as condensed a poem as you can. This is perfect.

cosmos cami said...

I agree with Kerry on how you condense thought. You say so much!
I enjoyed this very much.

Mary said...

So true!

Victoria said...

In a sense, stars ARE sometimes like people--not always what they seem to be and often on the road to self destruction. Good one, Kelli.

Susan said...

I think it was Oscar Wilde who said we're all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars. I'd call this the gutter disease.

Ravenblack said...

Interesting -- a cosmic phenomenon into a metaphor of someone who has been great is now about to fall. The last line after a space has seemingly dual and dire meaning and also has a linger effect. The stars are already starting to pull things in like a black hole feeding or the stars are being drained by another nearby.

Gillena Cox said...

Yeah, somehow stars drifted into mine today also

Have a creative month

Much love...

Magaly Guerrero said...

That last line is so shocking. You wicked woman, you!

grapeling said...

I swear you're a magician, MZ ~

Ella said...

Damn the disease! You have a way with words-Magic Mama Zen

Susie Clevenger said...

A unique look at stars..a few words that give me so much to consider.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Perfect, poetic and pithy. Wonderful.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Perfect, poetic and pithy. Wonderful.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I think you say it perfectly.

Carrie Van Horn said...

How true that is in so many ways....a wise and witty write Mama Zen! :-)

Fireblossom said...

It almost didn't matter what direction you took, after that opening line; it was going to work.