Sunday, April 5, 2015

For R.

I was all hot tamale
with extra sauce.
Bitch and boss,
I took my one night stands
like a man.

But I didn't mean to hurt you.

Still, I never gave a thought
to what you might feel
beyond the tight curve
of my ass.

I didn't deserve you.

And you

deserved better than me.

55 words for Kerry at Real Toads

16 comments:

Kerry O'Connor said...

'But I didn't mean to hurt you...'

Such a familiar tune, but never a great moment when it happens to you.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh, sad. I can feel the mood in "all bitch and boss", and then the realization, later. You can get across story, mood and resolution in so few words it is truly amazing. A whole scene in 55 words.......it is a gift.

grapeling said...

whoa. I don't think anyone approaches your consistent skill with pith, MZ. ~

Fireblossom said...

That opening stanza is all MZ and all word perfect. The shift in tone is all the more poignant because of that.

Sioux said...

MZ--Perfect and powerful (and poignant, this time) as usual.

ccchampagne said...

I wish I could have written this... Though I think in my case it would have been 'I never thought you could have been hurt by me'... Really hit home this one! Love it!

Helen said...

RED HOT ... Mama!

Susie Clevenger said...

Bitch and boss has remorse. You tell of a lifetime in such a limited word count.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

A novel in 55 words!

Hannah said...

Perfect! So complete.

Outlawyer said...

A kind of reversal of the norms here--and a huge amount squeezed in very masterfully. Thanks, MZ. k .

kaykuala said...

How about that, a perfect 55! Giving in can get better results sometimes! Wonderful take MZ!

Hank

Ella said...

You sizzled this one~ I love the opening lines and then the realization-powerful~

Shawna said...

This is great.

R.K. Garon said...

Yup!
ZQ

The Bizza said...

Brutally honest and eloquent.