Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Retracing My Steps


"Aloneliness" by Totomai Martinez


My pockets are empty, so I retrace my steps

back to the house
that was my mother's house;

back to the sickroom,
now, just a room;

back to the bedside
of a bed that's not there.

I could swear I left it here -

my heart
for doing the next thing.

For Mary's prompt at dVerse

20 comments:

Brian Miller said...

there is a heavy underlying emotion to this...the sickroom...to even the bed that is no longer there...only adds to that sense of absence....

Björn Rudberg said...

The bed not there - the absense an the heart. Loss do not need many words.

manicddaily said...

Sad. It's terribly hard. Well-written of course. Take care. k.

Yvonne Osborne said...

Very compelling.

Mary said...

Whew, this is intense, MZ. And so well written.

Sylvia K said...

Gripping and heartbreaking!! You can feel the pain!

Kenn Merchant said...

I would equally confused walking into a room expecting my mother to be there, and finding out that she is gone. We all miss those who are dear to us, and we all know that their presence is always there no matter how far away they might be.

Gail said...

Many of us feel this but only you said it for us all.

Kathy Reed said...

Touching response to the prompt..you are so good at saying a lot in few words!

Prajakta said...

What a myriad of intense emotions here... Nicely done!

totomai said...

poignant. those moments perfectly defined "aloneliness"

Kathryn Dyche Dechairo said...

Wow, I don't know how you do it. Manage to capture such intensity in your words. This hit me like a ton of lead.

... said...

The last line is so powerful. We have no choice but to go on with "the next thing."

yash gupta said...

This is so intense and so powerful..it took me back to a day I hate going back to...

ds said...

the bed that's not there, the heart left behind, having to go on do do the next thing. Loneliness, indeed. Sad and beautiful. Thank you.

bwfiction said...

concise and powerful - this really touched me.

If this is a recent loss, my condolences.

Gabriella said...

I really like the way you start your poem. A very well-written and poignant write. It is indeed weird to revisit a place no longer lived in by someone we loved.

Fireblossom said...

When something that has been central for a long time is removed or significantly altered, it can leave a person not knowing what to do. This captures that, and the poem is really well crafted.

Marian said...

argh, MZ. xo

grapeling said...

some catch light, some catch dark; you catch both ~