Friday, January 23, 2015

If I, Then What

If I
just let you lie
in your listless logic;
let your sensible sediment
sarcophagus stiffen and fossilize;
let "no" become stone on your lips
and lead weight in your heart;
if I let you,
then what?


Half a Quarrel with unrhymed one iamb lines for MTB at dVerse.

25 comments:

rumoursofrhyme said...

Well, that depends on whether or not you and/or they care, doesn't it?

Tightly written, MZ, and packed with emotion.

Fireblossom said...

It's framed like a problem of logic, but it isn't that at all, is it?

Grace said...

Perhaps you will be free?? This is a gem and I like the shape & form too ~

Sherry Blue Sky said...

A tight write, asking a soul-stirring question.

Claudia said...

sometimes we just have to let people do whatever they're up to so that they feel the consequences... though for those who see further - and for those who love - it's the toughest thing on earth

Sylvia K said...

Another gem indeed!! You are the best, MZ!! Thanks for the start to my day!!

Enigma said...

Wow. I love this! :)

... said...

This is fantastic! The fourth and fifth lines are heaven to my ears.

vivinfrance said...

What a fascinating form - not one I've ever tried, so you've inspired me.

manicddaily said...

MZ-- I thought I commented, but having trouble with it taking! This is certainly half a quarrel--the petrification wonderful (meaning wonderfully written); and great voice. k.

Björn Rudberg said...

First of course.. half a quarrel.. it makes so much sense.. There would never be a possibility to respond to this, would it?.. and the references to sarcophagi made it even better.

Marina Sofia said...

What a great name for this poetry form - half a quarrel! Let your sensible sediment... that's such a great line!

Mary said...

Indeed, then what?? I like the questioning ending.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Very imaginative take on Brian's prompt; half a quarrel indeed; think we did one of these at some point at dVerse; kind of the tough lady blues here, MZ; very cool.

quest4peas said...

Love how you ended this with a hanging question. To have written the response would have taken a lot away from your poem, but as it is, there is so much room for the imagination to run. Nicely done!

Kenn Merchant said...

Wow, this was a really well written poem so full of emotion. I like how the form of this poem creates a spade, as in the suit of card. It could also look like a tree I suppose. I really like the line, "let 'no' become stone on your lips," because I feel lit conveys most of the emotional tension in this. I also can relate with it because there are times where I'd rather someone say no than toy around.

Other Mary said...

I just love the line, "let "no" become stone on your lips"
Cool shape and content, Mama Z.

Brian Miller said...

love the double plays on some words...like lie up front.....the stone no on the lips...well played mz

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I get an underlying feeling of defiance, which I like.

angieinspired said...

I love the form, and the spade really digs.

Beachanny said...

Sorry I'm just now getting here. How way cool to use the quarrel and "break" it! I liked this a lot. Death is only about the "one". Thank you!

Susan said...

Lover, quarrel or not. The question is disturbance enough.

Heidi said...

Oh wow, what a good break. I like how only using one half of the quarrel seems to make this feel sadder to me. It's as if silence was the frustratingly predictable response from someone who has stopped trying. I really like this poem.

my heart's love songs said...

love, love, love this!

grapeling said...

calling a spade, a spade (in shape, at least) ~