Sunday, August 17, 2014

Jane Q. Poet

I don't hear
angel wings.  My mind's full
of things to do.  No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees.  I'm small words, quiet
needs; this world's loud, tall.  I canary
out of the coalmine -sing
what I saw.

A very rough triquain for Kerry's Sunday challenge at Real Toads

18 comments:

Sioux said...

"I canary out of the coalmine--sing what I saw."

Priceless.

Susan said...

We need you more than ever, Jane Q.
This is my new favorite.

Sumana Roy said...

The Neruda ref and canary metaphor making the poem all the more powerful...

Kerry O'Connor said...

Your manifesto is nonpareil, MZ. Love the reference to e.e. cummings but your canary image is even better - exquisitely worded within the parameters of syllable count.

manicddaily said...

Succinct, strong. k.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Oops - Is it Neruda's image? My bad!

Björn Rudberg said...

the canary out of the coal-mine-- what an amazing image... something I would have loved to have written

Fireblossom said...

Cummings? Neruda? I thought it was the Police!

Another excellent and original piece, MZ.

Helen said...

Perfect .. the way you make words fit form.

humbird said...

Love your play with quotes, see the image!

kaykuala said...

No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees

One laments at not being able to respond to good cues. Happens sometimes. Nicely MZ!

Hank

The Bizza said...

"No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees. I'm small words, quiet
needs; this world's loud, tall. I canary
out of the coalmine -sing
what I saw."

This is exquisite. Nothing rough about it.

grapeling said...

I was with Shay on that one. Guess I need to brush up on ee and on pablo. meanwhile, this rocked ~

Marian said...

spring is like a sometimes hand? and it ain't blossoming you. i love this too, MZ.

Shawna said...

Wow. This is really good.

"No one's doing with me
what spring does with cherry trees." ... I'm melting over this.

And this: "I'm small words, quiet
needs"

You are so very gifted.

Other Mary said...

So smart, as always. Love the canary reference.

Enigma said...

"I'm small words, quiet
needs; this world's loud, tall. I canary
out of the coalmine -sing
what I saw."

I'm sorry but I cannot place the Neruda reference (haven't read much of his work although I do love his poetry). But in themselves too, these images are loaded with meaning and power. Beautifully penned, as always. Loved this!

Lorraine Renaud said...

what can i say it's you, i missed your last two because i couldn't get in , don't ask since blogger sold to google i'm in hell ..so I come here to feel better, after 14 years blogging you'd think they'd be a little more considerate