Monday, June 23, 2014

I Didn't Know I Was Brave

I didn't know I was brave until you were dying.
Until I bathed you and brushed your hair.
Until I measured your morphine, measured myself, and chose

to put my hands to the fever,
be present,
and hurt.

For Open Link Monday at Real Toads

17 comments:

Kerry O'Connor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kerry O'Connor said...

Sometimes one is called upon, in this life, to tend to the frail and sickly beyond what one believed one was capable of.
These short and painful lines remind me of how I was called to look after my grandmother and see her through to the end.

Sylvia K said...

Sad, but beautiful and poignant, MZ.

georgeplaceblog said...

Speaking from my own experience I don't know if it was bravery or just no other choice. Your words are heavy with pain.

Susan said...

Brave is the right word, right next to love. Being present is never easy, but having it for final moments is life changing. I like how your poem moves apace into silence.

Tammy said...

Stunningly beautiful poem. I think this is the bravest brave gets.

Fireblossom said...

It's tough duty, and I'm proud of you for doing it.

Mary said...

I have been there in this same position. It was love, and sometimes one does what one has to do.

Susie Clevenger said...

Nothing hurts like letting go of a loved one. We can help them cross over, but we feel the pain of being left behind.

Sioux said...

This is achingly beautiful...and painful.

cosmos cami said...

Doesn't help that I'm finishing up The Fault in our Stars
This hits too close to my heart today. A beautiful choice.

blueoran said...

Strange and I suppose wonderful (though none of us would wish it) that the agonies we descend into for love exceed beyond measure the ecstasies we demand. Go figure.

Yvonne Osborne said...

We don't know what's in us until such a situation presents itself. But then I wonder how I will measure up. Choosing to be present: beautifully written. Deeply felt.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Sending you strength, Mama Zen. I so hear "I didnt know I was brave until you were dying." It is so hard seeing a loved one through their final weeks, and yet it is one of the most profound passages you will ever experience. Your closing lines say it so profoundly well. It hurts. Bless you for being there and staying present.

ayala said...

You took my breath away!

Marian said...

oh gah. :(

Helen said...

... amen.