Wednesday, March 5, 2014

To Draw Dawn

I'm frightened by what I've become
willing to do when I can't sleep.

Stuffing my ears
with tv tongues

and ashing my eyes to close them.

Piling pills
and smoking the husks of long ago harvested dreams.

Counting my breaths
and even confessing sins, but only in whispers

to draw dawn nearer when she listens.

For Words Count at Real Toads

29 comments:

Kenia Cris said...

Sometimes she's just busy with her own sleepless thoughts, but eventually, she'll listen.

:*

Kerry O'Connor said...

You must break the cycle. Sleeplessness quickly becomes a self-destructive habit.
Your description here conveys the anxiety that builds as bedtime approaches, and which probably adds to the problem.

Kathryn said...

Sometimes I want to punch her just so she'll listen (and I'm not a violent person) :0)

Sam Edge Author said...

this is perfect each line is better that the last to the brill ending. One of my all time favs of yours MZ.

Susan said...

"Whatever gets you to the light 'salright, 'salright
"Out the blue or out of sight 'salright, 'salright
"Don't need a gun to blow your mind oh no, oh no
. . . .
"I won't do you no harm ..."

Do not be frightened, Night will tell Dawn and both will hold you, starting now.

But, MZ, this poem holds panic powerfully. Almost too ....

Fireblossom said...

The more of these insomnia poems i read, the more grateful I am not to have it. My problem is much more likely to be staying awake!

Lolamouse said...

I've felt this same panic and desperation when I have a migraine that won't quit! I've even thought of hitting my head against a wall to knock myself out!

De said...

This is so well conveyed. There is no greater betrayal, in my book, than elusive sleep. Hoping it passes soon.

De said...

PS:
We play a game called "A to Z" when trying to get to sleep. Name a category (foods, four syllable adjectives, Kevin Bacon movies)...then make your way from A to Z through the alphabet, naming things from that category. Does the trick, every time. ;)

Susie Clevenger said...

I am so familiar with the bartering system to tempt sleep's arrival...Great write

grapeling said...

with miles to go before I sleep ~

Gail said...

Oh, my!

"Smoking the husks of long ago harvested dreams"...such sadness echoes in this.

Loved it.

hedgewitch said...

This is completely relatable for me--that desperate sense of just NOT being able to have what you want, what you need--maybe its some sort of allegory, but it still sucks. Your language here is complex without being complicated, and stark without being melodramatic--really nailed the whole exhausting feeling. The only good thing about insomnia is that I often get a poem or two out of it, not to mention a much richer fantasy life.

Hannah said...

You've captured the torturousness of this and the sufferers willingness to sacrifice to overcome...well written...especially the opening
draws the reader in with curiosity.

Thank you for you interview and challenge, MZ!

Patricia A. McGoldrick said...

Your words and images and frustrated attempts to sleep drew me in. The last line was so smooth, almost like being lulled to sleep, sadly, not! :)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

One of my faves too, especially "to draw dawn nearer when she listens."

kaykuala said...

It may seem a passing phenomena that'll right itself. Nicely MZ!

Hank

Outlawyer said...

Ashing my eyes is a great phrase MZ and describes well with all the rest the remorse that can be so difficult. You've sure given a good picture of it. K. Manicddaily

Sumana Roy said...

"to draw dawn nearer when she listens."...love this line...

Marian said...

those long-ago harvested dreams, sure wish i could leave those alone.

Kay L. Davies said...

You say it so succinctly, and always so well. Thanks for a great prompt, MZ.
K

razzamadazzle said...

This was a great prompt. I do hope you can find some sleep and peaceful dreams.

G-Man said...

"Kick the Sandman in his Sac
Stay up late...Insomniac"!!
The shit that goes thru your mind
Loved your Sleepless 55
Love all that you do
Thanks for visiting
Thanks for being so classy
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

blueoran said...

Seems like every insomniac ritual is another pointless attempt to invoke sleep -- that's why it's insomnia -- attempts to lasso sleep before daybreak runs off with it. What a catelogue of rituals we could amass! As many as we have pet ways of being touched. Thanks for naming some. Do our deprivations suggest the intimacies we lack?

izzy said...

It is quite a web we pull on hoping to sleep once again! I enjoy praying for all the folk not necessarily in my daily loop! thanks.

Mary said...

I empathize. I have gone through sleepless periods myself. I hope you are able to break the cycle....

Grandmother (Mary) said...

What a vivid description of insomnia. I haven't had many nights like that and I just get out my kindle to read figuring I'm getting benefit at least.

Björn said...

I think poetry and sleep-depravation has a lot in common... but still why..?

Loved those husks...

Other Mary said...

Yup, yup, yup! I feel your pain. Get yourself a good book. It won't put you to sleep, but at least you'll get to read a good book. :o)