Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Trading

I'd be willing to trade a piece of myself
to be graceful -a gazelle girl - the kind of girl

who makes it home from the store
with the eggs unbroken and her hair in place.

You know, one of those girls with kissing
fresh breath even after an onion burger laced with garlic.

I'd trade another piece of me to stop
dreaming of tests I haven't prepared for . . .

in courses I haven't taken . . .
in languages I don't speak.

Or, at least to start dreaming
of passing and being fully clothed.

And, I'd trade a piece (not a big piece, just a sliver)
for an easy, photogenic smile

instead of the high, hard stick-up-the-ass expression
I've worn in every family album mugshot since junior high

gazelle girls snarked all over my crooked teeth.
It was fourth period Spanish, just before a test.  I can still smell the Dentyne.

Some of the Sunday Whirl words for Open Link Night at dVerse

22 comments:

Fireblossom said...

Fuck them, baby. You leave them in the dust. They couldn't *begin* to be you, if they tied rockets to their asses.

Lorraine Renaud said...

and did she know she'd become an idol to so many ....a poetess of shocking venues and hope crushed by the brutality of humankind, and still she'd write and impress the hell out of everyone every day? Oh what they could have had if they hadn't been asses

Marina Sofia said...

And I don't think I know any of those girls - underneath the minty fresh breath and unmussed hair there were all sorts of fears and pressures which I would not have wanted.
Now Yummy Mummys... I do admit to an occasional twinge of envy there...

Brian Miller said...

you know...i dont know that they have it any more together than the rest of it...they just invest more in covering it up...

Sylvia K said...

Ah, been there, done that!! Glad I don't have to go back and do it again!! Have to admit it's kind of fun to see where they are these days -- yep, just another group of "old" broada!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

I been there too - it's perfect - like all your writing.

I used to think that i'd trade pieces of me, but this ugly duckling grew into an ugly swan and I revel because ugly swans are damned rare.

Also, I seen your pic and you're a looker. Remember Mosk told you so.

Claudia said...

oh there are certainly times when i would trade the one or other things for a bit more "perfection" - but then - we're all imperfect in our own way... some just more obviously than others

hedgewitch said...

Just remember, gazelles are at the bottom of the food chain, and the big cats, their expressions always austerely stick-up-the-butt and even snarling are...not. Thank god high school is only a temporary hell.

Susan said...

Imagine an on-line board game like monopoly which would catch teens and pre-teens who have body image problems. Of course, self-harm rates might increase as well. I would have traded parts of my keen intelligence for green eyes, black hair, straight teeth, ability to blush and athletic coordination. And I would have been prettier than a Barbie with as empty a head.

janehewey said...

brilliant! your voice is power and courage.... the 'after an onion' line really sunk it in for me.

Björn said...

You know the gazelle girls and the bull boys ran away with each other and got lost in the snow...

Mary said...

Wonderful description of 'gazelle girls, MZ! Your write has personality indeed.

annotating60 said...

Well done Mama. >KB

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Ouch! Been down that road--except for me, it might have been every year in school--felt this one

grapeling said...

courtesy keeps me from expressing how fucking rude those used toilet paper sucking vomit-breath assholes are, so let's just say - keep your pieces - they're not worthy of them. ~

Victoria said...

It is so easy for us girls to be down on ourselves, isn't it? And hard to let criticism roll off of us. So much natural to absorb it.

ayala said...

You are perfect, just the way you are!

Bodhirose said...

Yeah, I'd like to dream of being fully clothed too! Damn, what does that mean...

Who needs enemies when we have ourselves...we're the worst! Always enjoy your honesty-baring words, MZ.

vivinfrance said...

How I envied those gazelle girls - and envy is a deadly sin! Your poem spoke volumes to me. Thank you.

razzamadazzle said...

How hard they make the school years! Loved this and love you and your poetry. Bet they can't compete at all in the grown-up world.

Poet Laundry said...

I loved the imagery of the broken eggs and the mussed up hair...maybe because I identify, ha. You go girl.

Robyn Greenhouse said...

Even as an adult, I think today will be the day I get myself together. Then at the end of the day I think maybe tomorrow!