Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Wayward Moon

Wayward moon -
my shade to shine.
Heretic sister
in an ordered sky.

Maiden or messenger
of the Divine?
Wayward moon
of mine.

For Open Link Night at dVerse

39 comments:

Sylvia K said...

Love your Wayward Moon!!

Brian Miller said...

the rhythm in this is wonderful...that first stanza...the shade/shine and heretic sister...really great stuff...

hey maybe shay wont have a put down for me this time too....

Björn said...

Oh a wayward moon.. I love that, and as Brian says.. really very nice rhythm here.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

I thought this was about a girl I dated once, but it turned out to be so much more. Liked this very much.

Victoria said...

This feels like it would do well set to music, perhaps as a refrain. There is, for me, something about December that makes the moon even more beautiful. Great metaphor.

annotating60 said...

Very intricately done Mama. >KB

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Heretic sister... I love the way you give the moon a spicy character, Mama. This feels like a winter moon, wayward indeed! Amy

Ronald Shields said...

"Heretic sister
in an ordered shy."
This is very fine writing.

Susan said...

I love the defiance of order of the moon--both messenger and maiden--and it may be that the message is the waywardness. I like to imagine Apollo and Diana bantering like this before he abused her beyond measure.

kaykuala said...

Nice take on the wayward moon. Nicely MZ!

Hank

Beachanny said...

I always sense great precision in your work and private symbols as well. You write of the moon often and I suspect that reading your work in a volume, there would be levels of depth revealed beyond reading each work separately. That is not to say that this doesn't become a thought provoking and evocative work on its own.

Marina Sofia said...

Melodic, succinct and just beyond common garden mystery... want to know more.

Mary said...

I'm all for a "wayward moon."

Lisa A. Williams said...

Wonderful piece, love the "wayward moon".

hyperCRYPTICal said...

A 'wayward moon'is fine by me too - makes life so much more interesting...
Anna :o]

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

This feels like a wonderful dance to me--lovely!

Katie said...

Very nice! I like this little piece a lot. :-)

Abhra said...

Love your wayward moon - wonderful rhyme scheme and effect of brevity for a strong theme.

Dawn Paoletta said...

Dreamlike quality. Lovely.

Dawn Paoletta said...

Dreamlike quality. Lovely.

Pat Hatt said...

Great flow as wayward you go

Robert Bourne said...

amongst the rhythm of this piece there are some thought and feelings...

ayala said...

Great ! Thank you for your kind words.

Fireblossom said...

I love this!

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

oh she is all that, isn't she - loved the heretic sister - a poem as beautiful as the moonlight! K

Outlawyer said...

Wonderful how you really do make words count, MZ. So well done. K. Manicddaily

Mary Sherman said...

"...Wayward moon -
my shade to shine."

gorgeous image you've created here.

billgncs said...

Just right!

rowantaw.com said...

Oh I'm hearing a song here!

michaelt said...

Love the idea of a wayward moon in an ordered sky, very good indeed.

grapeling said...

cool pen, MZ ~

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Funny, I always thought the moon made me wayward. :-)

Lorraine said...

I love this so so much Mama Zen I'm going to go back and read it again...

razzamadazzle said...

Beautiful. Love that you cling to the wayward moon.

freyawrites.com said...

This is delightful. Short, but wonderfully sweet.

gila_mon said...

Nice cognitive dissonance projecting our waywardness on the constant moon--heresy indeed. Then following with the paradox of shade shining. Much to think about in such few lines. Very cool.

Anthony Desmond said...

I love when the moon has a stellar shine... definitely sends good vibes... I'd say a messenger :) nice write

Laura said...

beautiful!

Pealogic said...

It feels like the beautiful start of a slow sensuous song