Sunday, December 22, 2013

Lost It

I was in Walmart when I lost it.
Surrounded by thirty nine dollar peace on earth -
I lost it.
Thinking about my mama dying and my husband and I having to start all over -
I lost it.

I just lost it.

I paid for my cart full of groceries.
Then, I paid for the guy behind me.
And, the lady behind him.
I kept on
until my purse was empty and I was sure
that God had to have seen me
acting out the faith
that all is well and in his hands.
Faith that there's some kind of grand plan.

But, I've lost it.
I've just lost it.

For Poetry Pantry

24 comments:

madhumakhi said...

It's sad that you lost it. But what seems to be lost will be compensated for by God's Grand Plan.

Mary said...

I do hope that the lost will be found!

Claudia said...

oh heck mz ... that is so moving... sometimes we just need to pour til something in us is totally empty to feel our heart again..to get our own needle back on the map again... felt..

Kerry O'Connor said...

How could one read this without empathizing with the speaker in that moment.

Some things just come down to endurance - whatever helps you get through the next few minutes and the ones that follow so inevitably. Life and loss go hand in hand.

Sumana Roy said...

there is God's grand plan...so the hope is alive...

Fireblossom said...

What's lost will be found again in Unicorn Town!

Susan said...

Ouch, ouch, ouch. May she be next in line when someone else is paying it forward. But first, a cry-out is called for, a wail in the woods, lots and lots of undisturbed sleep. And maybe the latter is something her family could give her for Christmas? Thank you for this poem that speaks for and to many.

grapeling said...

quite an image, lost in WM, between the glaze of fluorescence and the sheen of linoleum that seems to go on forever. ~

Gail said...

Even in your loss you gave and that makes the Grand Plan better.

Merry Christmas.

hedgewitch said...

There are a lot of worse ways to lose it--and redemption is where you find it, I say.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

At times I wonder if I ever had it but I understand the cracking under pressure, portrayed so well in the piece.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This poem hits home. Love the narrator paying for those behind her......even in the midst of her own suffering. So hard to lose one's mother, to be starting over - as we seem to have to do so many times in one lifetime.........Great share, MZ........what has been lost will surely be found again.

Truedessa said...

What is lost can be found it just
takes time even if we lose it standing in line..

Mademoiselle Modelle said...

I truly believe there is a grand plan & I feel for you in your lost moment.

Brian Miller said...

feel a little punch drunk after reading this...there are moments it feels like the world is caving in...and all ya do is hope someone notices...

TALON said...

Those bargains we make with the higher power...hoping against hope to be spared the pain of loss.

Just beautiful, Mama Zen. Touching and tender.

Wolfsrosebud said...

felt the urgency of this... I lost it on Friday

kaykuala said...

Lost but for a good cause and fitting in with God's Grand Plan. That is important especially for the ensuing year. Merry Christmas MZ!

Hank

K said...

Such a heartfelt poem, such a heaviness. I hope that you found some peace, no matter how small, in the kindness of helping those behind you in the checkout. I do hope you are able to have a peaceful holiday.

Jinksy said...

Sometimes letting go means we can lose something we will discover we didn't need - like sorrow, or anger perhaps...
Your words were very powerful.

Stormcat Poetry said...

Well I've been sitting here staring at this blank dialog box, for at least a half hour, not sure what to say but knowing that I want to say something so that you know that I love you. I cry about everything lately because it feels good to cry and allows me the feeling that I'm not alone. Go ahead and loose it because it will make you to feel better to know that you are not alone. :) xxx

Poetry Analysis said...

Wow, amazing poem. I hope you find it again! :)

Karen said...

You lost. Someone else gained. Your loss the food for those hungry. Redemption.

Pealogic said...

I really enjoyed reading this. It made me think of me, but I lose it over smaller stuff. At least you made other people happy. Another time I'd like to hear what they thought.