Monday, October 14, 2013

The Mountain

I had a mustard seed -
seed I'd heard could move a mountain.
Mountain didn't move -
move an inch for me.

Now, I'm set against the stone,
stone simple and a singin' -
singin' to that rock,
"Rock of Ages, cleft for me?"

A late loop poem for Grace's challenge.  Submitted to Open Link Monday at Real Toads.

19 comments:

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love the sense of movement you have achieved in this poem, MZ. The looping does not have the effect of going around, rather it surges forward to your conclusion.

Grace said...

A lovely response MZ ~ I like the metaphor of the mustard seed & choice of words last/first pattern ~ Thanks for trying your hand in this ~ While it looks easy, its really tricky ~ Have a good week ahead ~

Fireblossom said...

sock of ages/ cleft for me/ let me hide my foot in thee

runzzzzz

Robert Bourne said...

well done on the loop.. it is not easy to do...

georgeplaceblog said...

I'm not a fan of loop poetry but this is well done. Nice job!

Susan said...

I like
"Now, I'm set against the stone,
stone simple and a singin'"
A mustard seed, huh? Never heard that one! But "Rock of ..." Yes. I found this very funny!
This narrator is on some kind of list for Heaven, for sure.

wkkortas said...

There is a winsomeness about it, and a bit of a lean toward what used to be called "grit-lit" as well; the two don't normally go together so well, but no worries about that here.

Ella said...

I love your loop-it could be a song!

Loredana Donovan said...

I love the reference to the Bible ... if only you had the faith of a mustard seed, you could move mountains. I needed to hear that again ... thank you! :)

Mary said...

Very clever. I like how your mind works!

grapeling said...

my loops are bedraggled- cereal left to sog in milk. you, on the other hand, yours spring better than a slinky.

Karen said...

This whole thing is "a singin!"

Lorraine said...

I enjoy always the challenges you meet even when I have no idea what they are 'cause you're awesome Mama Zen

Buddah Moskowitz said...

great use of technique and the imagery was perfect.

Sioux said...

I can't do these worth a darn. My attempts are suckola...

Margaret said...

!! That darn mountain - if you can't move it, might as well sing. :)

Rachelle Smith Stokes said...

I like how you couldn't move the mountain with the mustard seed. Instead you sat next to it below and "rocked out". Sometimes we have to be with what is at the moment. A lesson I m learning right now. thanks1

Kathie Brown said...

Very clever!

Vandana Sharma said...

Sometimes situations too rise merely fro ma seed to a mountain. Very well explained.