Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Steps

On the fourth step of my skull,
she stopped to write upon the wall -
For A Good Time Call
A LITTLE LOUDER.
I'm not much of a shouter.
I think too much.

On the twelfth step of my skull,
she paused to smoke and take in the view.
I think that she was looking at you;
I know that I was.
I have to look.
I'll never touch.

On the top step of my skull,
she finally made herself look down
and saw herself there on the ground
small and broken.
Small and broken.
Both of us.

For Open Link Night at dVerse.

28 comments:

Brian Miller said...

so sad. esp in that last realization of both being small and broken...

Kerry O'Connor said...

This one blows my mind!

Grandmother (Mary) said...

Makes me think of when a soul leaves the body and looks down and sees her small broken self, and a loved one forever separated. The use of a an alter ego climbing her skull is brilliant and magnifies the sadness.

Sylvia K said...

I agree with Brian, the realization of being small and broken indeed.

grapeling said...

brilliant ~

ayala said...

So sad...

Björn said...

To be small and broken is a sad realization.. this imagery can mean so much... and still we always want to climb up again.

Timoteo said...

Sucks to be used as a stepping stone, doesn't it?

annotating60 said...

Mama, an interesting twist on the bully concept. >KB

Mary said...

Brokenness often does not affect just one person, but another in relationship as well.

Claudia said...

ugh...makes my heart ache...

Delaina said...

Very sad but I appreciate the power of your words.

Dorianna (paintswithwords) said...

poignant and sad..broken and small..the imagery in this write is powerful and chilling.

mrs mediocrity said...

Oh my... that was entrancing, and such a powerfully haunting ending.

Laura said...

The ending says it all... so horribly sad and to common.

emmett wheatfall said...

Deep for its profundity.

Katie said...

Wonderful! Very though-provoking for sure. I especially love the flow of the first stanza.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

"small and broken, both of us". Poignant, kiddo. Intriguing, those "steps of the skull".

Colleen@Looseleafnotes said...

Eerie. I didn't expect to see the word skull but it really got my attention.

Susan said...

If only we had called LOUDER! All 12 steps were there. Maybe we should have lingered longer on each one while looking at time and gods passing.

rowantaw.com said...

A stunning write - I loved it!

Brendan said...

I've been away a while. So good to see the poet continues to grow and build in you. More resonances, depth. I think we keep repeating that staircase, increasing something as we climb. At the same time going further, you know? Hope you have been well.

Lorraine said...

Brilliant surprisingly sad and totally seasonal applause applause :)

Fireblossom said...

I find I can't describe in words just how this one makes me feel. I'll just say you've been writing kickass stuff lately. I will say that this one made me wonder who the "she" is, since she's different than the "you" that's being watched.

I just loved the CALL A LITTLE LOUDER part!

Kate Mia said...

Rage is scary enough as this kind of damage can be done..but in someways that is even hopeful..as it seems to portray..a bully seeing their conscience after the act..

The scarier part is..bullies with no guilt ever...

The kind that are politicians..at times..the kind that send troops into wars..for not just cause..and all of that..

The real bullies of eternity..it seems...that make the biggest bully impacts....

Buddah Moskowitz said...

I figured you were both players in this scene, but what does it mean? Maybe not as important as how sad and defeated this made me feel. Loved it, my friend.

seasideauthor said...

Written with impact. Wearing both sides. Kind of sad. Everything flows both ways?

Margaret said...

It is an interesting exercise to look at this as both being "her" as if she is the bully (as that does slowly rot your soul) and as if the "she" is truly another person and "I" is the victim. Either way - POWERFUL and unique.