Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Chambray Blue

Chambray blue and bloodshot
eyes reminding me of my
soft and foolish days
before you went away the first time.

Chambray blue and buckshot
spine reminding me my kind
blooms best in decay
and rot will have its way

when reluctant hands hold the knife.

For Open Link Night at dVerse

36 comments:

Mary said...

Enjoyed thre parallels between the first stanza and the second. Last line brings the poem to a powerful close.

Brian Miller said...

yikes on the close...nice parallel for sure in opening lines...blooming bast in decay...there are a few that do that....

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Creepy and enigmatic. Does it mean something? You're one of the few writers I never regret reading - even if I don't understand what I've read. Take that as a compliment.

Susan said...

"Chambrey Blue" makes me think of denim and of wood carving. Blue jeans as the uniform hiding differences back before it became designer wear and wood carving as my mother does with driftwood and fallen limbs, taking away the rot to find the beauteous form and grain beneath. It's a found art, and she cannot be reluctant with the knife if she wants to find the beauty in its soulful core. That soine may have seen enough buckshot by now, and be ready to step out of its many masks.

Susan said...

"spine"

Claudia said...

my kind
blooms best in decay...oh heck...and that close..gave me chills a bit... dang tight

annotating60 said...

Well done. Economic as per in your use of language but pointed as the knife is.>KB

Marina Sofia said...

My kind blooms best in decay - so powerful, such a bold statement! A poem held on a tight leash, but straining to move beyond.

grapeling said...

this one will swim beneath the surface for a while, MZ

maryazilberberg said...

MZ, masterful! No mud, no lotus.

Amber Glows of a Slow Burn said...

Ah... where would we be if there weren't the kind that blooms best in decay? Beautiful work.

hedgewitch said...

All the important things happen where life meets death. A soft color, and a hard edge here, MZ.

Björn said...

Oh there is lot of story and bad blood between the first stanza and that end... gruesomely good.

Anna Chamberlain said...

Gripping and immersive verse!

Misky said...

Stunning and shocking in equal measure.

Fireblossom said...

You have become so handy and deft with your rhymes, girl.

rumoursofrhyme said...

This is powerful, MZ; really masterful work giving so much opportunity for readers to find their own meanings.

I love the tight use of rhyme, the way that the second stanza almost echoes the first with some clever shifts

and the twist of the end ... Wow!

Laurie Kolp said...

Wow!

mrs mediocrity said...

Those blue eyes will get you every time... :) This is fabulous!

Grace said...

The ending was the clincher ~ I love this MZ ~

Alex Dissing said...

Your lines can speak for themselves but they also tell a powerful message when they're combined. Very, very nice.

Truedessa said...

you have a way of weaving a poem
with a bit of a chill..enjoyed this...

Maggie Grace said...

Whoa on that last line. Very creepy and made me go back and read it again. Thank goodness for those with unsteady hands.

ayala said...

Great poem, great ending.

kkkkaty said...

Loving the chambray blue and the soft and foolish days....but am I getting the last line or not, I'm not sure...speaks of giving up...excellent write..

Ken Higginson said...

Wow. Reluctant hands holding a knife...what the heck? What happens next?

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Mama, I know I'm one of "your kind," and even though this creeped me out big-time, I loved it. The contrast between the stanzas, and WOWZA what a finish. I think I'm the one with the knife, unfortunately... know what I mean? That karmic, emotional knife that bites me raw. Amy

Margaret said...

Ah ... no second time will there be for those washed out eyes of blue. Spine tingling tragic.

kelvin s.m. said...

...tight close... tight write... loved it!

kaykuala said...

Creepy! Wonder what the knife's for. One keeps wondering. Very effective MZ!

Hank

Sioux said...

This IS a disquieting one, Mama Zen. However, I never expect fuzzy kitties and fluttering butterflies from you...

Lorraine said...

Scary especially since you threw in Chambry blue which is so delish...ah you do spin my head around

Myrna R. said...

Wow. So much said in so few words. But the whole poem is sharp as a knife. That last line - wow.

Mystic_Mom said...

Bella! Bella! You nailed it. Love the atmosphere between stanza one and two.

Life in a Poem said...

color adds emotion, well done

flaubert said...

Excellent juxtaposition, mama. Well done.

Pamela