Friday, September 13, 2013

By Contrast

I'm rough and rooted,
weather wounded -
I make you look beautiful.
I'm a darkened corner lending you its light.

I'm scarred, but steady
through each ebb and eddy
of your single, fragile season.
It's true that you're more pleasing to the eye.
But, I've watched flowers bloom and die

since God was a little girl.

Inspired by Hannah's prompt at Real Toads.  And, if my migraine drugs don't deceive me, it's 55 words for my G-Man.

23 comments:

chamomile sea said...

Wow. Incredible ending. Every syllable and rhyme is perfection; well chosen wording. Excellent piece.

grapeling said...

Ahh, lovely, and the kicker line - :)

Kay L. Davies said...

Wonderful!
K

Susie Clevenger said...

Love it!! Especially that last line!

Nara Malone said...

Really loving that first verse, especially that darkened corner. Great write.

kaykuala said...

Wonderful post, MZ! The ending is a clincher! Sets one thinking! Nicely!

Hank

G-Man said...

Mama Zen...
You know how much I appreciate your participation on Fridays.
You have your own obligations, and I know why you do it...:-)
All that said...
I Loved your Rhymie Yin Yangie 55
Your genius knows no bounds.
Thanks for this little Gem
Thanks for all you 3 Ladies do
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is my favourite kind of response to a poetic prompt.. It stands alone, inspired and entirely original.

Lorraine said...

Impressive: romantic,sad and fun

Sam Edge said...

pretty tight mz

Debi Swim said...

I wish I could come up with a brilliant comment but I'm overwhelmed. This is simply, I don't know - DANG good.

Other Mary said...

Love it. The last line is golden!

Mary said...

Love thinking that God was once a little girl!!

Gail said...



Great job, impressing.

LaTonya Baldwin said...

Oh the last line, rocks and your response as a whole is solid. Great contrast, imagery and sense. Gurl, you just got it going on.

Margaret said...

The whole second stanza is amazing... (reminds me of Kathy Bates line "Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance")

Sorry - this is a beautiful poem - sometimes beauty doesn't win the day (and I for one am glad to hear that)

hedgewitch said...

Just one of your best, MZ, and there's not much that can top that.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Loved every line of this, especially "weather wounded" and "scarred, but steady". LOVE the idea of God as a little girl!

Grace said...

I love the contrast, rough vs beautiful, fragile vs rooted ~ Lovely share MZ ~

Hannah said...

Awesome MZ!! I love that you gave the tree from that video a voice!! The language and the rhyme used here makes for such a great read...thank you for writing!!

Sioux said...

You had better not have written this while you had a migraine. That would make me uber-pissed ;)

The line break between the last stanza and the last line...the near rhyme of the first two lines...ebb and eddy and steady--this is fabulous, as usual.

Victoria said...

I love everything about this...especially that last line! Big smile.

Fireblossom said...

I had to read this a second time, aloud. I love the way you express yourself.