Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Hiss

Hiss
a sugar snake
slither slither.
3 kisses from a dead man
bitter, bitter.
Broken fingers
and a bent gold promise ring.

HISs
woman feelin' poorly.
HISs
woman - she will surely
find her health is better
once she's left New Orleans

and left being HISs woman to me.

For Words Count at Real Toads

20 comments:

Kerry O'Connor said...

If you could bottle it, you would make a fortune, Mama Zen!

Susan said...

Doubly warned!

sylvia kirkwood said...

Great one for the day, MZ! Actually, great for any day!

Fireblossom said...

I like your rhymes and near-rhymes and just the way each of your words fits together in a sort of sound-puzzle.

Hannah said...

So awesome! This is what I should have read before I wrote mine...hmmm maybe I should try again.

Any way...I love how this reads...ingredients to the perfect spell...love how you played with, "hiss!"

Nicely done and thank you for the challenge!

Mary said...

Oh, that ending was a real zinger!!

hedgewitch said...

Perfection in the first lines, MZ--really couldn't have possibly mooded it up better for that sweet ending--delivery *and* substance scary good.

Marian said...

Yeah, loving the rhythm & almost-rhymes.

Sam Edge said...

This is great - love the play on words

Outlawyer said...

So clever! k.

Kay L. Davies said...

Ooh, real voodoo. I immediately thought "New Orleans" when I first saw the pinterest photo on your challenge. Probably I walked by that place when I was there in 1980. Marie Laveau would be the woman to know how to erase and replace HISs woman.
Well done, MZ, the challenge and your poem.
K

Margaret said...

This is outstandingly clever! Researched New Orleans voodoo a bit. Found it interesting that most was/is done for good /helpful outcomes. Who knew.

Susie Clevenger said...

That beginning was harsh...bent promise ring and all. Love how you ended it!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

The best kind of black magic. Loved it.

Maggie Grace said...

Nice witchy spell. Loved this HISssing!

Lolamouse said...

Ooh, I (almost) feel sorry for him! But not really!

Helen said...

Double double toil and trouble ... hissssssssss! Loved this one!

Sharp LIttle Pencil said...

Mama, great prompt. Bringing out the gooey gumps in all of us!

Your hiss and HISs works so well... the jealousy, how she can't wait to weave her spell on him after her other spell has sent the missus trotting off... and OF COURSE, "Nawlins"! Great. Amy

Lorraine said...

gasp always so easy to leave, I have heard the hiss, ugly

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Sneaky tricky sibilant fun.