Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Buck

The buck, throat cut,
bleeds dry about six.
Half-hidden in nightfall,
I redden a stick

and dampen the doorway -
a Sunday school lesson

pass over
pass over
pass over.

For Open Link Night at dVerse.

34 comments:

Susan Daniels said...

Mama--wow. you caught me up in this one.

vivinfrance said...

A succinct and powerful depiction.

LaTonya Baldwin said...

I can't decide which way to go with this. In my gut, I feel disturbed.

Thanks for making me think.

Laurie Kolp said...

Perplexing!

Mary said...

That was 'bloody good.'

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Oy, you're such a troublemaker. Great macabre sketch, scary a little.

Stan Ski said...

Life and death and rites of passage... all in a day's work.

Brian Miller said...

hope the holy ghost dont get you...just saying...what an interesting picture that becomes....

lovemorestudio said...

loved this and some others on your blog as well-- I'll be checking out more! ~peace, Jason

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

This is thought provoking--and will stay with me for a while I think!

Sioux said...

Good writing makes us laugh or cry or ponder...

Steven Marty Grant said...

Really love this! I can't resist a good religious allusion, especially done so poetically

ayala said...

Thought provoking and good!

kaykuala said...

Mysterious and beautiful.Frightening also in a way! Nicely MZ!

Hank

colleen said...

Whew! This is very powerful ... and pagan!

Fireblossom said...

Lordy. Gory, weird stuff, but with a sort of magicked blessing/ dark warning at the end.

Myrna R. said...

Short, not sweet, a little horrific. I know that's what you were going for, and you did it well.

Kathie Brown said...

Wow, this is very powerful.

Grace said...

What an image you painted MZ ~

Susan said...

O! Lesson learned, beautifully, grotesquely. Behind all the words, actual sacrifice.

Mystic_Mom said...

Interesting - hunting and passover. A buck, mature sexually, instead of an innocent lamb and in summer...hmmmm

Sharp Little Pencil said...

This conjured images of the Jews putting lamb's blood on their doorways so their firstborn would not be killed in the Plagues.

Weaves a spell, chills my spine. BRILL. Amy

Arron Shilling said...

Tension tight and quick release puts me in mind of some kind of Hitchcockian slice maybe with some Lynch in the mix: making a perfect piece of cut image pushing into the sense of peace, or creepy comfort I feel in the repeat.

emmett wheatfall said...

Deep! Just plain deep.

jane hewey said...

edgy and profound. wonderful!

punnypalaver said...

Loved the way you combine Biblical narrative, figure of speech, and vivid detail to create an image both powerful and clever.

Nico said...

Wonderful writing, those last three repeating lines like a litany. You had to know I'd love this one!

Lorraine said...

shivers a sacrifice for nothing...how do you do that?

maryazilberberg said...

Oh, Mama! You nailed this one --perfect. Not an unnecessary word or thought in this. Wowzers!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Such a stark and horrifying image. I honestly believe that you are one of the most significant poets on the blogs - and I say that with no offence intended to anyone.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Succinct and powerful. Excellent MZ.
Anna :o]

Kate Mia said...

6! My favorite number!

The rest was great too2!

zouxzoux said...

Honestly, as an animal lover this kinda grossed me out (to use an old fashioned term) but there's no doubt about your talent, Mamma. :)

Gemma Wiseman said...

So many "edges" in this old religious practice when it's brought to life like this! A macabre kind of light. Stunning.