Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Scarlett's Pantry

My stash of dark chocolate
is in the pantry
between the applesauce I bought for the child
(wrong flavor, but kept anyway)
and a little jar of instant coffee
(in case of emergency, break glass).
There -
behind the candy canes
(ghosts of a Christmas past)
and the marshmallows
(big ones like I used to roast before everything burned).

I learned from my Mama to make something
out of a half pound of nothing and a can of mushroom soup.
Lord, that woman could Shake and Bake!
I was years gone into on my own before I could face
another tuna casserole.
Now, my tuna is stacked neatly can on can
next to a sample of something or other a nice man
at the grocery store gave me for free.

Let's see; bottled water, marinade, enough hot
sauce to give a full city block the trots . . .
baking powder, flour . . .
got chocolate chips,
but I don't bake anymore.

I just settle for one of those rice cakes
(every flavor known to man)
that I tell myself are just as good
as bread (they taste like a dead man's hand).
I've got the celiac, you know,
and it's an unbuttered bitch biscuit,
but I can still suck/lick
black olives from my fingertips
or slip into my chocolate stash for a bite or ten,
and as God is my witness,
I will never be hungry again.

A Rhapsody attempt for Kerry's challenge at Real Toads.  I don't have to tell anyone that those last lines are from Gone with the Wind, do I?  Didn't think so.


Kerry O'Connor said...

Rice cakes do taste like dead man's hand!
As a rhapsody to one's right to raid the pantry (and I would go for the chocolate first) this is from the top shelf!

Susie Clevenger said...

Love everything from the title to the pantry contents. I have a bit of all of it in mine except rice cakes...I believe their packaging has more flavor.

Sioux said...

Too many delightful lines to quote.

But "unbuttered bitch biscuit" is too good to ignore...

Hannah said...

I feel like I was standing right there with you or peering through your visual. Awesome, Mama Zen!

LaTonya Baldwin said...

you are wicked cool. can i come play at your house?

Sylvia K said...

Ah, you've made my afternoon, Scarlett -- uh uh MZ!!

hedgewitch said...

You can't say much for rice cakes except--they're better than a damn winter turnip, anyway. I rofled out loud at the dead man's hand--perfect description.

Helen said...

May I just add .. I am rapturous over your rhapsody.

Brian Miller said...

dead mans doesnt that sound tasty...seriously feel for you...i can choke down a rice cake if i have to but...and tuna casserole...err...i had a bad run in...just glad you got hot sauce cause i would be using plenty...smiles.

Margaret said...

Oh, the pantry is perfect for a rhapsody. Of course, you KNEW that. You rocked this one MZ!

grapeling said...

another dead man's hand fan, here, MZ, and that bitch biscuit, too. I admire how you pull me in so quickly, and in a moment, you deftly paint a picture which I can see. ~ M

Fireblossom said...

Unbuttered bitch biscuit...that's priceless, and trademark MZ.

Heaven said...

Love the pantry stuff especially that second stanza and rice cakes ...shake and bake it ~

Have a lovely week MZ ~

Mary said...

Brilliantly rhapsodic verse, MZ!

Lorraine said...

hah oh fantastic, and at myself have quote that line when I got fed up with the stupid diets s with my fist in the air, I love every word you wrote I love visiting you

Susan said...

I believe in Junk Food, Miss Scarlet, and also in laziness which allows a build up of unusables worthy of hiding gems in--like dark chocolate. But, then, I find rice cakes--especially the ones that look like Styrofoam--to be delicious down to the last squeak on my teeth. (I can't blame diet restrictions; I used to like Chicken Croquettes in college cafeterias as well.) This poem rocks! Severe poverty, I think, teaches us to hoard, and this rhapsody in the pantry gets it right!

Marian said...

it all sounds rather delicious. celiac or no, your buttered bitch biscuit ain't going hungry. can i come over?

Herotomost said...

Buttered bitch biscuit...dead mans you paint a vivid landscape. I'm still picking yellowed fingernails from my teeth. Great job.