Tuesday, July 16, 2013

In Cognito

The priest was a dilettante and dabbler.
The watchman - a babbler and thief.
The painter poxed the light and sketched shadows.
Prayer and poetry were both left to me.

I crafted her curses to verses
until the ink pot ran dry,
but the lines for confession held nothing
but spit in her father's eye.

Rank saved her skull from the hammer.
Blue blood bought a gentler hell.
And, the name of her love in Cognito
is a kiss, shared swift, beneath veils.

For Open Link Night at dVerse

40 comments:

Brian Miller said...

in cognito...ha...nice wordplay...enchanting rhythm to this one as well mz...almost like a nursery rhyme-scheme...got to watch dabbling priests...spit in her fathers eye...ha..nice one there too...intriguing tale...

authoredangioplasty said...

This reads phenomenally!

Mary said...

You have created another stunner, MZ. You have told just ENOUGH of the story to whet the readers' appetite. I like "I crafted her curses to verses....."

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

Loved the pace and the scheme - a rollicking story - K

Buddah Moskowitz said...

:) You write so well. I think you should branch out into film.

Steven Marty Grant said...

Exceedingly well crafted piece. You have used your devises very well and had fun with it in the process.

Sylvia K said...

This is really terrific, MZ, I love it!! You are good indeed!!

Timoteo said...

"I crafted her curses to verses"

I think that's the formula for my poetry!

flaubert said...

Perfect flow to this, mama. I also like "I crafted her curses to verses". So good.

Pamela

rowantaw.com said...

This reads so well (and I can imagine it extended into a graphic novel ..or that's how I saw it in my imagination).

mrs mediocrity said...

You have the most delicious way with words.... You always leave me smiling.

Fireblossom said...

The whole thing is sharp and snappy, but it really starts gathering strength mid-way, with the confession part. I love it, including the way you split "in Cognito".

Maggie Grace said...

Have to admit my favorite line was spit in his eye. Great rhythm and message to this, MZ!

Björn said...

What a wonderful read

Sioux said...

"Rank saved her skull from the hammer" is a brilliant line.

Beachanny said...

Stunning poem, MZ. You painted it in shadows and in poetry. Extremely effective!

Mystic_Mom said...

is it a visual treat or a delicious read? Both! Love it.

manicddaily said...

Very clever. Reads like a novel all in one go! k.

Truedessa said...

I always know when I come here I will read something outside the box that stirs the pot. A creative write.

Zouxzoux said...

Love the musical quality and intriging story.

Sam Edge said...

some cool turns here - prayer and poetry are left to me ... love it

WabiSabi said...

I loved the rhythm throughout and found the last lines to be a strong satisfying ending!!

hedgewitch said...

All poetry is a form of prayer(if done properly) I think. And the answers to prayer usually prove that She does indeed move in mysterious ways.

Margaret said...

Felt almost guilty for enjoying this piece. :)

Susan said...

Just one swift kiss? sad girl, sad both. Can the narrator be Shakespeare in Love, with prayer and poetry both?
Odd prayer of curses with refused confession, but poetry nods to her class, and the one named kiss is gone.

Heaven said...

I specially like that second stanza, curses to verses ~ Happy OLN MZ ~

Arron Shilling said...

your craft gets tighter by the write: pure precision and a real pleasure to read

punnypalaver said...

A tight write--form and content a perfect marriage

Claudia said...

ha - you're a good verse crafter - tightly penned and cool wordplay mz

Marina Sofia said...

How do you do that? How many rewrites did this take - it is so clever and perfectly formed. I especially loved the last stanza. 'Blue blood bought a gentler hell'.

Lorraine said...

again, again you have gift for the macabre written in love shades of strange...I am awed, again,and again,and again

Steve King said...

Such fine mastery of short forms...every verse a workshop in mystery and implication. Very nice job.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I second Truedessa's comment about always finding something outside the box in here. Love the kiss, "shared swift, beneath veils".

ssmatthews451 said...

Nicely metered and rhymed. Enjoyed the read.

Myrna R. said...

I like the intrigue in this as well as the description of the characters. So well done.

rumoursofrhyme said...

Really enjoyed the tempo and rhythm of this wonderful piece of intrigue, MZ.

Victoria said...

There is such an undercurrent of darkness in this...except for the prayer and poetry, Therein is redemption.

kelvin s.m. said...

...stunningly enchanted.... love this... smiles...

sreeja harikrishnan said...

intriguing and so interesting... and thats art!

joanna said...

that's a helluva story... and your wordplay is exquisite!