Sunday, July 28, 2013

Cyclops Sky

DSCN0600a
image by Diana Matisz

Full
moon eye.
Cyclops sky.
Earth forge turning,
grinding, and burning
rough pieces of the night.
Starlight put to the hammer;
the matter mixed with the flux and fix,
then quick cooled by the rush of the tides -
till she is eastern born, the blacksmith's bride.

An Etheree for Hedge's challenge at Real Toads.  Also submitted to Poetry Pantry.

28 comments:

hedgewitch said...

Way to rock the form--you have a way with the moon, always, and never more so than here. Sometimes its hard to get the end right with these, because they have to both start and end with strong emphasis, but there's no difficulty with that in this one--the last line is as effective an image as the cyclops eye--in fact, every mythic image works well, from Thor's hammer to Vulcan's forge. Thanks so much for playing, MZ.

Brian Miller said...

cool imagery...the cyclops sky...starlight put to hammer...eastern born...cool symbolism inside...

Sylvia K said...

Great imagery indeed! No one does it better, MZ!!

Helen said...

Perfection in form .. literally and figuratively.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Perfect title! This form is perfect for your style of writing, because you can pack both emotion and imagery into a small space. I felt captured by the movement of the poem and just adore the final line, and the blacksmith's bride.

TALON said...

Cyclops...what a great image for the moon. Loved it, Mama Zen!

Mary said...

What wonderful images you wove together in this poem.

turtlememoir said...

this really, really moves, mz - obviously the perfect form for your words, love the title too

Enigmatic Soul said...

Wow. Brilliant play with words. Loved reading it.

Sam Edge said...

wow this rolls like thunder!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

LOVE the cyclops sky!!!!! Wicked good writing, kiddo.

Marian said...

i'm imagining Aphrodite and Hephaestus. lovely!

Fireblossom said...

Very cool. What an original take on moonrise.

Hannah said...

This is stinkin' awesome!! I love the cyclops image and the very industrial feel you bring to this and your story-like conclusion! Great work, MZ!!

R.K. Garon said...

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
5 smiles
ZQ

Other Mary said...

Oh - I just love this!

Heaven said...

Love that final line specially ~ Terrific work on the form ~

kaykuala said...

A lot of bearings touched on. Great form MZ!

Hank

Kay L. Davies said...

Wonderful, MZ, from the title to the last line, with no wasted words.
K

jane hewey said...

how'd you do that...? give the moon an edge to be reckoned with... great write! the form disappears with your confident line breaks.
http://janehewey.wordpress.com/author/janehewey/

Susie Clevenger said...

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing in such a group of brilliant poets. Love the mythical feel, I especially love, "the blacksmith's bride"

Akila G said...

wonderful imagery here! blacksmith's bride got me! :)

Gemma Wiseman said...

A sense of power rising to be the ultimate "blacksmith's bride". As if a description transforms into a tight drama. Stunning.

Lorraine said...

Wow on all three photo, writing and the way the words fall into form....incredible

mindlovemisery said...

Love the form, the drama, the closing lines especially WOW!

Maggie Grace said...

Wow is so unoriginal but wow! Love everything about this. One thought carried through and the words woven throughout to hold it together beautifully.

Laurie Kolp said...

This is amazing!

cloudfactor5 said...

Just wanted to say, I read this amazing poem over a week ago and its imagery was so powerful that my mind kept wandering back to your "Cyclops Sky"
A most impressive Etheree !!!