O!M!G! Just when I am congratulating myself on coming in under 53, you go and ace it in 15 perfect words. Beautiful. (I shall go now and gnash my teeth!)
I feel the peacefulness in this!
Lordy. I'm gonna go gnash with Sherry. 15 words! And the alliteration works so well, as it always does in your poems, MZ.
Well done :)
... and it's in haiku form too! Awesome.
As mathematically satisfying and proportional as a da Vinci drawing--realism flying on an imagination full of soul.
very tight, but says enuf...nice flow...
O, proportion, perfection, body parts and a perfectly enigmatic smile - in this perfect balance relief is possible.
snugly in bed...warm...
Beautiful...leave it to you to write such a wonderful piece about safety with such few words.
This conjures such a lovely scene.
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!
Amazing. Wish I could express in as few a words the peacefulness your poem conveys. Haven't even started and I'm over the number you used! A great prompt!
Oh, wow...so much depth drawn in so few...magical, Mama Zen! Thank you for the challenge!
In a challenge for us you set a challenge for yourself, MZ!! Brevity plays well here. I am stumped!!
Short and sweet! :)
That is just lovely - quilt quiet - perfect.
"Quilt quiet" makes me feel safe and calm just reading it! Snuggly good.
I agree..."quilt quiet" does it, establishes the warmth and safety of time and place. But, oh, to be a "da Vinci drawn on the bed and breeze"...what dreamy luxury is that? Wow.K
Love it! All those "b's" and "d's" feel so good in mouth and ear. And I guess I didn't realize (or pay attention maybe) that it could be 53 words or LESS. Just wait till next week! :o)
Ha! But are you drawn backwards! (I think that was only his writing - yours is very straightforward but mighty sneaky.) k.
Simple and oh so lovely. I didn't even think haiku. I have such a specific safe place. Adore your words ♥
This poem has three of my favorite qualities: it is languid, erotic and brief.Color this perfect. Color me green. - Mosk
Gorgeous, Mama Zen!
This is a gorgeous short poem,but it is not haiku because haiku is about nature and or must have two juxtaposed images in addition to other esthetics. Although, I am late, I find my self inspired to write something . Thanks, mama zen for this wonderful prompt.
And how you packed the word "drawn" with meaning! "Drawn" as in sketched, "drawn" as in looking exhausted and "dead" to the world, and "drawn" as in pulled up from a well, as thirst-quenching water for whomever is hovering over you.I almost get the feeling that this place is so relaxing that you actually are dead.
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