Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Drawn

In the quilt quiet,
I am a da Vinci drawn
on the bed and breeze.

For Words Count at Real Toads

31 comments:

Sherry Blue Sky said...

O!M!G! Just when I am congratulating myself on coming in under 53, you go and ace it in 15 perfect words. Beautiful. (I shall go now and gnash my teeth!)

Mary said...

I feel the peacefulness in this!

Fireblossom said...

Lordy. I'm gonna go gnash with Sherry. 15 words! And the alliteration works so well, as it always does in your poems, MZ.

ayala said...

Well done :)

Helen said...

... and it's in haiku form too! Awesome.

hedgewitch said...

As mathematically satisfying and proportional as a da Vinci drawing--realism flying on an imagination full of soul.

Brian Miller said...

very tight, but says enuf...
nice flow...

Susan said...

O, proportion, perfection, body parts and a perfectly enigmatic smile - in this perfect balance relief is possible.

VaNdAnA ShArMa said...

snugly in bed...warm...

Susie Clevenger said...

Beautiful...leave it to you to write such a wonderful piece about safety with such few words.

Grandmother said...

This conjures such a lovely scene.

mindlovemisery said...

Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

Lorraine said...

I"m speechless...everytime!

Robyn Greenhouse said...

Amazing. Wish I could express in as few a words the peacefulness your poem conveys. Haven't even started and I'm over the number you used! A great prompt!

Hannah said...

Oh, wow...so much depth drawn in so few...magical, Mama Zen! Thank you for the challenge!

Akila G said...

In a challenge for us you set a challenge for yourself, MZ!! Brevity plays well here. I am stumped!!

Loredana Donovan said...

Short and sweet! :)

Kerry O'Connor said...

That is just lovely - quilt quiet - perfect.

Lolamouse said...

"Quilt quiet" makes me feel safe and calm just reading it! Snuggly good.

Kay L. Davies said...

I agree..."quilt quiet" does it, establishes the warmth and safety of time and place. But, oh, to be a "da Vinci drawn on the bed and breeze"...what dreamy luxury is that? Wow.
K

my heart's love songs said...

simply... sublime!

Other Mary said...

Love it! All those "b's" and "d's" feel so good in mouth and ear. And I guess I didn't realize (or pay attention maybe) that it could be 53 words or LESS. Just wait till next week! :o)

manicddaily said...

Ha! But are you drawn backwards! (I think that was only his writing - yours is very straightforward but mighty sneaky.) k.

Maggie Grace said...

Simple and oh so lovely. I didn't even think haiku. I have such a specific safe place. Adore your words ♥

Buddah Moskowitz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Buddah Moskowitz said...

This poem has three of my favorite qualities: it is languid, erotic and brief.

Color this perfect. Color me green. - Mosk

TALON said...

Gorgeous, Mama Zen!

Laurie Kolp said...

Lovely!

Richard Cody said...

Beauty.

Rita Odeh said...

This is a gorgeous short poem,but it is not haiku because haiku is about nature and or must have two juxtaposed images in addition to other esthetics. Although, I am late, I find my self inspired to write something . Thanks, mama zen for this wonderful prompt.

Anne Sexton said...

And how you packed the word "drawn" with meaning! "Drawn" as in sketched, "drawn" as in looking exhausted and "dead" to the world, and "drawn" as in pulled up from a well, as thirst-quenching water for whomever is hovering over you.

I almost get the feeling that this place is so relaxing that you actually are dead.