Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Bad Connection

I couldn't hear you over the rain,
but I cradled the connection
just the same
bad as it was
just because
I might hear you speak my name.

Dapple down
sweet apple kiss.
Twine my tongue.
Bind my wrists.
Make a habit
of my hips.
Or, just find a way

to call me back tomorrow.

Getting Listed with Karin at Real Toads

27 comments:

Helen said...

... 'make a habit of my hips' ~ wow!

Grace said...

This sizzles MZ ~ I am reminded of those early days when the connection was really bad ~

Kerry O'Connor said...

How wonderful is this? I love the change between stanza one and two - that second really tells us what connections are all about. Loved the last line.

Brian Miller said...

really a lovely dance int he rhythm of your words....and some heat as well...smiles..nice sensuality...

Peggy said...

Very nice feel to this--the rhythm is wonderful and the words included effortlessly. Hope you are safe from the storms there in Oklahoma.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is a FABULOUS poem! I totally love it.

Kay L. Davies said...

Amazing...the hope/disappointment, the raw sexuality, and then the final line. I love it.
K

razzamadazzle said...

Wonderful! I love the differences between the first and second stanza.

Robyn Greenhouse said...

That's a call worth waiting for! Loved the rhythm!

Fireblossom said...

This is gorgeous, girl. Pure MZ poetic magic.

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Whoa, Mama! Spicy as it progresses! I love the line, "make a habit of my hips," it's too delicious. I can see you had fun with this prompt, wink. Amy

Lolamouse said...

I love the progression from longing to sensuality in this one! Some really fantastic lines!

henna ink said...

You're so awesome, chica. :)

I especially love the first stanza and this:

"Twine my tongue.
Bind my wrists.
Make a habit
of my hips."

Margaret said...

This just makes me think of you in that hallway, trying to hear your husband on the other line... and hoping against hope you will hold each other again...

I guess moments like that, what is important really hits home.

Dapple down, sweet apple kiss is just so AWESOME! How DO you do it time and again? :)

Mary said...

Beautiful!

Marian said...

that second stanza's like a jumprope rhyme. maybe we shouldn't teach our little girls this? hee. love it.

Lorraine said...

Lovely, sensual, sexual extremely romantic ending....You are a Star MZ

hedgewitch said...

The rhyme here is flowing and unforced and really adds to the music of the message. I especially like the alliteration and interior rhyme--so much going on in such a short piece, not least of which is a wonderful love poem.

aprille said...

I come to you for lessons in brevity, so I can go home and scratch 80 percent :-)

Ella said...

This was steamy! I love your approach ;D
Bravo!

Akila G said...

Ah! just some reason to get back. Loved the undertones of sensuality in this!

Michael Dalvean said...

This poem is not bad. It scored .428 on the Poetry Assessor (http://115.146.95.34/poetry/). This score is at the bottom end of the "professional" range (0-6).

De said...

Oh, my. This line is tre sexy:
"Make a habit
of my hips."

NICE.

Alice Audrey said...

Such love. Excellent.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Is it your writing persona, or are you really this passionate, barely containable tempress with a hint of desperation and insecurity? Or am I reading too much of me into this? Excellent. The economical imagery and the swift action are hallmarks of a true artist. OK, Ok, I'll admit it: I liked it.

Fireblossom said...

Michael Dalvean scored a perfect "10" on the Fuck You And The Horse You Rode In On scale. (It's similar to the Kiss My Happy Ass/ Shove Your Stupid Scale scale.)

Congratulations, Michael!

hedgewitch said...

Laffin at FB. I think Mr Dalvean has missed his calling, which would be counting lots of very uniform beans in a sterile and controlled environment, and is obviously desperately looking for random internet hits to bolster his sophomoric thesis that a spreadsheet can evaluate art.

It's rather civilized of you, MZ, not to delete his egregious bullshit.