Friday, April 12, 2013

The Last Wish

Dawn broke,
and I can't fix her.
Not with all my paste
and prayers.
The sky is skewed
beyond repair
and sinking slow.

Clouds are cobwebs in the trees.
The sun is cradled by the sea.
And, falling stars bring me to my knees -
my last wish - to know

is this gonna hurt?

For Margaret's prompt at Real Toads

24 comments:

hedgewitch said...

Probably not a painless extraction. Your words suit this image perfectly.

Brian Miller said...

oh i think it just might...but what a fantastic journey through the imagery to get there....particularly like that last stanza...

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is amazing, MZ. The whole notion of taking 'dawn broke' literally is so darn clever and your images are as innovative as ever.

izzy said...

What a grand song! lovely- especially the second verse!

Mary said...

I think this is something we'd all want to know....

Sylvia K said...

You are a creative one!! I've seen a few of those dawns and I couldn't fix them either.

Jinksy said...

Certainly a painful picture...

Margaret said...

My mouth is hanging open ... and I'm drooling (not a pretty sight, but it is a compliment).

G-Man said...

Ya know...
This is 53 words long
56 with the title....
I should buy you an abacus!!!

(Loved it anyway...G)

G-Man said...

Great Pic...
You might have known that a Bednar had something to do with it!!

Grace said...

That second verse is just stunning MZ ~

Helen said...

For me, your poem was like a puzzle ~~ the pieces fitting perfectly. Lines 1 through 4 ~ Lines 5 through 7 ~ Lines 8 through 10 ~ Lines 11 and 12 ~ poems that are able to stand on their own. Great work!!

Other Mary said...

Wow - this rocks! So sharp and not a wasted word!

Fireblossom said...

You literalist, you! This is really cool. All the imagery is sharp and apt, and that last line is what I think I'd be asking, too!

Truedessa said...

I like the way you were able to capture the darkness of the picture. Very nice..

Peggy said...

Very creative take on this that to me does capture the feel of this piece of art! Well done.

Ella said...

I love the light you shared playing off the dark~ Yes, damn it-it will hurt, but the light will get you through ;D
Fun to read

Akila G said...

is this gonna hurt....knowing well yet hoping against hope. loved the tghe way verses drew out of the imagery!

Lydia said...

Impressive what you found in the art, and so accomplished the description. Your poetry is moreandmore dazzling all the time (note to self: get their book!)

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Amazing. I love how you pack so much into so few, but such perfect words. Your poetry makes me green with envy, wishing I could write like you do. Really!

Kay L. Davies said...

"Dawn broke and I can't fix her"! Wow, I've often wondered why "dawn" and "break" were together, but was either in no place to check it out, or, latterly, too lazy to google it.
I love this poem, from "paste and prayers" to the final line, it is the child inside us thinking "I wonder why they say that. What if it really breaks? Then what?"
Of course, it takes far more words to comment on your work than it does for you to get your message across. That is the real miracle of your poetry.
K

the walking man said...

I really shouldn't admit it but i pee off my porch just before dawn breaks...it never pushes the day back for a while longer or shows revulsion but i do feel better so---no i don't think it will hurt.

manicddaily said...

all wonderful--hard to comment separately. you have a gift for short and sharp.

Susie Clevenger said...

Love the second verse and I am afraid it just might hurt.