Saturday, April 6, 2013

Stories Of Fire

My stories of fire
barely burned you,
so I fed you
scars and ashes.

11 comments:

Fireblossom said...

14 words. I can't even order a pizza in 14 words, and you seem to tell a whole relationship in miniature.

I love this. "Stories of fire" is so evocative, and i want to know why they seem to have had so little effect. (Does this person have a pulse?) And then to "feed" someone scars and ashes is just poetic. so get out of town.

Brian Miller said...

bet that didnt taste good...smiles.

intriguing little short mz...quite evocative for 13 words

Brian Miller said...

14 words....shay counts better than i....

Sylvia K said...

You can say it all in so few words!! Terrific!

hedgewitch said...

I worry about those whom fire won't burn--or maybe it has to be their own fire. Scars and ashes are good enough for them.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Your metaphor is compact and extremely effective.

Mary said...

You are very adept with these short forms! Whew.

manicddaily said...

felt quite tragic to me. well done. k .

happygirl said...

I read about eating ashes instead of bread in church yesterday. This captures the despair of loneliness.

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Convinced
you are
a genius.

(That's as succinct review as I can muster.)

Susan said...

Man, leftovers!