Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Pigs And Pretty Girls

A conversation with my grandmother.
March, 2013

"You wouldn't be in a beauty pageant?"

My grandmother is aghast.

"God, no," I reply.  "They're no better than stock shows.  And, that's exactly what I told 'em back in high school when I was nominated for Miss Watchamacallit; if I want to be judged like a pig, I'll enter the county fair."

She is even more aghast, if that's possible.

"You did?  Well, I didn't know a thing about it!"

"Of course, you didn't, Grannie."  I can't help but smile a little.  "What kind of a fool do you think I am?

A Document of Discussion for Izy's prompt at Real Toads.

24 comments:

Sylvia K said...

Yep, just about the same -- only difference is one has four legs, the other two!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Coincidentally, judged like a pig by a pig (most likely). (Incidentally, I dated Miss Watchamacallit, and we went out for ribs. She had a delicious sense of irony.)

Big ups to Grannie. Loved this.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ah , Grannies..They do aghast so well.

Brian Miller said...

you actually might be better off at a stock show...there you just got to show em your teeth and have good lines...smiles. ha granny is funny...smiles.

Hannah said...

Exactly my sentiments!! We don't need any more in the way of exclusivity, in my opinion! xo Mama Zen!

Ella said...

lol, I love this! I do have to admit..I was in one...it was a bet and I won, the bet-that is. My boss at work said I'd win, no I won't...he had to cough up cash-$25 and a year supply of popcorn! So, I kinda won...i hated every minute of it, except the parade. A cute guy driving 3 of us in a convertible-that was fun, lol. Never did it again...I remember the horrid tea party put on my the upper crust. I think I shocked them with my favorite movie, Star Wars. One woman I swear grunted...lol
Well Done Mama Z!

Claudia said...

ha smiles..love your grannie's sense of humor..smiles

Emma Major said...

don't get me started.on beauty pageants

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Yeah, but you'd have to put lipstick ON the pig... oh, never mind.

This is short, sweet, sassy, and I think your grandma and mine would have had a blast! Well done, babe. Peace, Amy (a collector of very teeny weeny pigs that stand on my shelves and surprise visitors)

Ellecee said...

Couldn't agree more,,,loved the discussion, I love the way our grandmothers react to things too. Short and to the point - I like it.

Kay L. Davies said...

There was a discussion in 1964 about our family business entering me in the local beauty pageant, but my dad didn't like the idea. Upon reflection, I bet he was probably thinking about county fairs and pigs and cows, too.
Then again, I didn't have any talents that would lend themselves to performance on a stage. I couldn't sing or dance, and I failed bagpipes, so it was recite Kipling's Ballad of East and West, or do nothing.
But I agree with Ella, the cute guy driving the convertible might have been fun.
K

Sioux said...

Yeah, my grandmother was all into the Eastern Star and wanted me to become a Jobs Daughter. Me in a long flowing gown?

No freakin' way.

Grace said...

To be judged like a pig, very sharp statement MZ ~ Good one ~

Fireblossom said...

You leave those barbies in the dust, MZ. And you definitely have to be choosy about telling certain things to certain people. Nice job, girl!

Helen said...

Miss Watchamacallit ... Miss Thingamajig ... as a Grannie, I've had many an aghast moment!
Great Poem!

Isadora Gruye said...

This has the MZ flavor and charm I know and love. Yet, I also feel as though I sat down and witness this conversation take place. To borrow Kerry's comments, Grannies do aghast so well.

I love the over-reaction of the Grannie. I think i have heard my own grandmother say, "well I didn't know that" alot, must be a genreational thing. Well done and viva la

Kim Nelson said...

I love her. I love her granny. Spunk divided by a generation. Smart girl, that young one!

Peggy said...

Very funny -- both Grannie and you in the conversation. Also funny about the pigs!

Susan said...

Self-protection! But would she like the poem, the record, read in the context of today? Fun and true! I like it.

Margaret said...

LOVE Brian's comment! I hate to say it, but if I ever take the time to watch Miss USA or Miss U.... it's to make fun of them.

Outlawyer said...

A whole world of writing in beauty pageants. Must agree.

This is Manicddaily by the way. Blogger is not taking my wordpress name. Thanks so much for kind visits. k.

hedgewitch said...

I had a friend who always called going to a singles' bar a night at the Meat Market--yeah, it's all about the nothing that is the wrapping, not the something in the box.

Mary said...

I am definitely WITH you on this one!

Alice Audrey said...

Reminds me of a friend of my grandfather who thought to impress me with his daughter's beauty pageant wins. I just thought we would never be friends.