Friday, April 26, 2013

Mockingbird

Everything was different
the morning I awoke
with a strange song in my throat
not my own.
Every note
repeated
repeated
cheated

from another.

Not a thing was different
the morning I awoke
with a song shoved down my throat
not my own.
Every note
repeated
repeated
cheated

of any other.

For Fireblossom Friday at Real Toads

21 comments:

Fireblossom said...

Well, I'm a little disappointed that you didn't do the interlocking fukyu, but still!

This is really cool, the idea of having a song, but the song being one that doesn't really belong there. Also, I like the subtle changes from the first section to the second. eally good stuff, MZ. Thanks for being part of my challenge!

Kerry O'Connor said...

FB's comment is on the money. The whole poem rings with a cry for an original voice - a concept I can fully relate too.

manicddaily said...

Wonderful. Sharp/poignant/singing. k.

Brian Miller said...

very nice...the near repetition makes the subtle differences jump off the page in this one....

Claudia said...

wow...just few words changed and it's a whole different feeling

Maggie Grace said...

Not sure my brain could even do a mockingbird but you took it's qualities and very much embedded them into your being. Extraordinary thinking, IMO, and well done!

Susan said...

In such a locked circuit, is there any other I? This poem is brilliant! Thank you!

Peggy said...

What a clever take on the mocking bird. I love hearing them sing despite the repeats.

Gail said...

Brilliant take on this challenge...love it.

hedgewitch said...

Perfect title--and yet, the mockingbird always has something to say, and the context is always its own. I love the structure in this, the echo/mirror of the lines.

Charleen said...

I like this!

Sylvia K said...

Brilliant it is! I love it, MZ!!

Ella said...

I love the subtle change ;D
You are so clever~
:D Loved it!

Kay L. Davies said...

This is fantastic!
I've never seen or heard a mockingbird outside the Harper Lee novel, and, later, the movie. Thanks, you have made me remember how much I want to see and hear one.
Wonderful poetry, MZ. You're an artist.
K

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Way cool response to the challenge. Love the idea of a song not one's own locked in the throat. Clever subtle word changes too that make such a difference.

Helen said...

Way before your time ... I fell in love with the mockingbird the first time I heard Patti Paige sing "Mockingbird Hill" ... I couldn't have been older than ten or eleven. Your poem certainly resurrected many memories for me.

Susie Clevenger said...

How I tire of singing another's song...I feel this one.

TALON said...

So lovely!

Grandmother said...

First part lovely, second part eerie. You're a marvel, MZ.

Jinksy said...

Looking for a voice is a poet's full time occupation...:)

Hannah said...

Yes! Wow...and what a disappointment that would be. I just love your choice and approach. Great!