Seven stars on a silken string
tucked safe inside my sleeve.
Harvested from a falling sky
and held against rough need.
Stay -
by choice of heart.
Or,
stay by work of my art
binding you with seven spoked stars
and words wailed to the moon.
Must I force feed you affection?
Then, here's a leper's spoon.
For the Fireblossom Friday (form!?!?) challenge at Real Toads
16 comments:
Very clever!
dang..that first stanza is awesome...a little magic in tucking away the stars....the question on force feeding affection as well....ugh....
hope your little one is feeling better as well...
Excellent excellent stuff, from the visuals of the first lines to the last--you make the form's sing-songy cadence work hypnotically, then snap those one-syllable interjections like a whip, and conclude with a hammer on nail reference that drives in an enhanced meaning.
I like the imagery.
Terrific! Love your imagery!
I am laffin so hard at the footnote!
You rocked the challenge, MZ. The first two lines are spectacular with the imagery of the stars on a string up her sleeve and the pleasing alliteration.
You worked the middle section beautifully, and took it from tenderness to witchery, just like that.
MZ don't beg. If the one being addressed in this poem has to be convinced to stay, then may their parts fall off. Really gorgeous, edgy, flowing stuff, woman.
I'm always in awe of the way you can turn a poem in the last two lines.
I love the 7 stars and a string, and the added detail of the seven spokes.. I see wheels of fate and magic ever turning.
... 'stay by the work of my art' ~~ my favorite line, and why so many enjoy your poetry.
A wonderful poem, full of movement. I'm glad you didn't stick to iambs, as your variants really made the poem sing.
"Then here's a leper's spoon". Wow, Shay is right - pure wonderful witchyness of the very best possible kind.
Wonderful - this has elements of Donne I thought-- but not overdone, just well done. k.
This is beautiful! I love what you have done ;D
Hope your little one gets better, soon! @>----------
It seems so tender and then "lepers spoon" ends it with a pinch. Wow.
Hope the sweet little one is better. Have two home sick .. and made the mistake of giving my five year old Tylenol. He was zipping around like a puppy at 11 pm... and sick as a dog again by 2:30 am. sigh.
I love the bridge,
Stay, by choice of heart. Or, stay by work of my art
Isn't it the way it works. I really like this one.
Strong voice, specially the ultimatum ~ Good work MZ ~
I quite like your use of alliteration and the cadence of the piece. That leper's spoon is a superb and unique finale!
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