Sunday, February 3, 2013

Garden

A blood wet thorn shows you
I've been there.
A missing rose means
that I'm gone.

How long
will you try
to deny me
your garden?

My loose latch gate bids you
to enter
and seek the bloom spared
from my shears.

To bring you near,
I appear
to deny you my garden.

Submitted to Poetry Pantry

28 comments:

Sylvia K said...

Beautiful, touching and perfect as always.

She Writes said...

This reminds me of a very twisted garden short fiction I read in 18th or 19th century lit. Of course it was about everything but gardens. I wish I could recall it! I like your piece.

Mary said...

Extremely well done!

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Things are not always what they seem--lovely, lovely write

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Well, this is very intriguing.......makes one wish for the whole story!!!! Very beautiful.

Brian Miller said...

smiles...oh the games you ladies play...smiles...

Wabi Sabi said...

From your first line, I was drawn into your garden, intrigued!

Fireblossom said...

I'm not sure what to call this-- it isn't exactly call and response, but the second section responds to the first in a different voice.

What the hell is on your yogurt, woman, that has you writing like this? This is subtle, and smoky, and seductive and smart and romantic, all at once. We all want what we can't have, and it's a cagey woman who knows that. I really love this.

Fireblossom said...

PS--"the bloom spared from my shears" makes me think that, in her way, she has saved the very best of herself for this person.

Shawna said...

"To bring you near,
I appear
to deny you my garden."

That is 48 kinds of wonderful.

my heart's love songs said...

{{{sigh}}} lovely!

Susan said...

"blood wet thorn"
here and gone and tantalizing
"I appear"
but only to deny
and thus, have . . .

anthonynorth said...

Many perfect lines here, and intriguing words.

Kim Nelson said...

The gate and the shears combine to create the best stanza read in a very long time. You, poet-writer-friend are on a crazy good roll.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Enchanting but with an undertone of conniving!

Laurie Kolp said...

Captivating, spell-bindidng, too.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Wow! That opening stanza is like a poem within a poem.

hedgewitch said...

Very effective mirror effect in the ideas and the two voices echoing back the idea of all the dances we do, the shadows we play in.

Paige Nicole said...

like a melancholy older woman wrote this - in need of company.
sad and beautiful.

happygirl said...

No matter what age, the game is played the same. Beautiful verses.

ayala said...

An awesome write!

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mrs mediocrity said...

Love the mystery and the taunting.... The hints at the story underneath.

Arron Shilling said...


Landscaping lovers, teasing terrain and making me tread very carefully . . . seek the bloom spared from my shears . . . i am tip toeing like a ballerina on a hot tin roof . . . subtle edge and cool

Claudia said...

ah..a seductive voice here for sure..and a bit of danger underneath as well..

Jules said...

Thank you for your visit to one of my 'Honoring' pieces.

My first thought was of Beauty and the Beast. I'm sure the real Grimm version differs from Disney.

I also thought of the play "Into the Woods" because reality doesn't always have a happy ending...

Dark Angel said...

Hard to get Mama Zen? Love your final stanza :)

zongrik said...

great metaphor at the end


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