A blood wet thorn shows you
I've been there.
A missing rose means
that I'm gone.
How long
will you try
to deny me
your garden?
My loose latch gate bids you
to enter
and seek the bloom spared
from my shears.
To bring you near,
I appear
to deny you my garden.
Submitted to Poetry Pantry
28 comments:
Beautiful, touching and perfect as always.
This reminds me of a very twisted garden short fiction I read in 18th or 19th century lit. Of course it was about everything but gardens. I wish I could recall it! I like your piece.
Extremely well done!
Things are not always what they seem--lovely, lovely write
Well, this is very intriguing.......makes one wish for the whole story!!!! Very beautiful.
smiles...oh the games you ladies play...smiles...
From your first line, I was drawn into your garden, intrigued!
I'm not sure what to call this-- it isn't exactly call and response, but the second section responds to the first in a different voice.
What the hell is on your yogurt, woman, that has you writing like this? This is subtle, and smoky, and seductive and smart and romantic, all at once. We all want what we can't have, and it's a cagey woman who knows that. I really love this.
PS--"the bloom spared from my shears" makes me think that, in her way, she has saved the very best of herself for this person.
"To bring you near,
I appear
to deny you my garden."
That is 48 kinds of wonderful.
{{{sigh}}} lovely!
♥
"blood wet thorn"
here and gone and tantalizing
"I appear"
but only to deny
and thus, have . . .
Many perfect lines here, and intriguing words.
The gate and the shears combine to create the best stanza read in a very long time. You, poet-writer-friend are on a crazy good roll.
Enchanting but with an undertone of conniving!
Captivating, spell-bindidng, too.
Wow! That opening stanza is like a poem within a poem.
Very effective mirror effect in the ideas and the two voices echoing back the idea of all the dances we do, the shadows we play in.
like a melancholy older woman wrote this - in need of company.
sad and beautiful.
No matter what age, the game is played the same. Beautiful verses.
An awesome write!
Love the mystery and the taunting.... The hints at the story underneath.
Landscaping lovers, teasing terrain and making me tread very carefully . . . seek the bloom spared from my shears . . . i am tip toeing like a ballerina on a hot tin roof . . . subtle edge and cool
ah..a seductive voice here for sure..and a bit of danger underneath as well..
Thank you for your visit to one of my 'Honoring' pieces.
My first thought was of Beauty and the Beast. I'm sure the real Grimm version differs from Disney.
I also thought of the play "Into the Woods" because reality doesn't always have a happy ending...
Hard to get Mama Zen? Love your final stanza :)
great metaphor at the end
prima donna cat fight
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