Sunday, February 17, 2013

Free Verse

These verses aren't free.
They cost me the coin
of confession.
And you, my priest,
scatter wafers
to my obsession

like seeds
of indulgence -
yours or mine?

For Fireblossom's Free Verse challenge at Real Toads

21 comments:

hedgewitch said...

Nothing is ever free...yet somehow there is wiggle room if you can get the proper intercession. But at the price of the coin of confession, it can come high.

A smart and layered poem, MZ.

Sylvia K said...

Great words for the day and all too true! The price is high!

Helen said...

(to answer your question with a question) .. a bit of both?

Brian Miller said...

i believe it an indulgence on both our parts...smiles...perhaps hoping together we can find some absolution...smiles.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Yeesh! Those first three lines had me smiling and grinding my teeth once again.

What an excellent poem.

Hannah said...

"my obsession

like seeds
of indulgence -"

This part popped out at me Mama Zen!!

Excellent poem all together! :)

Laurie Kolp said...

Ahh... this is great MZ. I love the metaphor here and especially your first line... so true!

Fireblossom said...

No, they're not free. I thought of you when I was writing the part about brevity.

Marian said...

ain't gettin nothin
for free
here or anywhere.

Gerry@Strummed Words said...

Seems like a good verse for a Sunday! Makes me think of Church and confession.

Book Dilettante said...

I like the repetition of the two lines, "If only they had come when...." Gives a haunting quality of regret..very nice poem.

Susie Clevenger said...

You manage to wrap a whole book in such a few lines..nothing is free..somewhere there is a hidden price tag.

Lolamouse said...

Thoughtful and provocative.

manicddaily said...

Super clever, MZ. And on the money - of confession/obsession - whatever currency. k.

Susan said...

A very good question: after all a person pays and endures, who gets off? Layers upon layers, which I totally enjoyed.

W.k. kortas said...

Short, sharp, pithy in best sense of the word--and the last stanza, a bit puckish, a bit flirtatious, even. A lotta good in a little package.

Kim Nelson said...

Hah!
Both, I suspect.
Marvelous in content and brevity.

Mary said...

"seeds of indulgence" -- so much to ponder here, MZ. Both literally and figuratively. Enjoyed your poem.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I love that "coin of confession" - I've been feeling the same way about my poems of late:)

Heaven said...

I specially like the opening lines ~ Good work MZ ~

Margaret said...

Very sharp and says so much with so little.