Thursday, January 10, 2013

Breath

There is breath
and breath
and breath
without words.

Breath
and breath
and salt
against my tongue.

Breath
warm
and warming
inside my thigh.

Every breath
a petal
sweet / crushed
and pulled.

For Form for All at dVerse

26 comments:

Brian Miller said...

ah each breath has so much possibility...and some are best used without words...nice bit of intimacy in there as well...it is nice when those breathes are as soft as petals...and each one we take/pluck is gone, until the next...

rumoursofrhyme said...

"Every breath a petal" - a thing of great wonder and beauty, but also fragile and transient. Loving the imagery MZ

Dick said...

Sweet and sensual.

Victoria said...

Beautifully sensual write. You've created a wonderfully intimate moment.

Heaven said...

I like the breathing in and out, each one a petal sweet / crushed and pulled ~ Love this one MZ~

jasmine calyx said...

I love the rhythm you create with your repetition, and the fact that you talk about sweat without talking about sweat. Licking without talking about licking. Warm and warming means things are already hot but getting hotter. Your ending is slammin': "sweet/crushed and pulled." I like the slash rather than a comma. Sweet or crushed. Maybe you can't decide. Maybe it's a cycle between tenderness and brokenness. But no matter what, you are pulled ... pulled apart, stretched to the fullest, stretched to your breaking point, removed from the stem. Loves me, loves me not.

I just read Luke's "Pulling Petals" yesterday, so this is a nice coincidence. I like them together. Bravo.

Oh, and knowing that you're Miss Zen, I like the meditative implications as well. I like, I like, I like. Wow, what an impressive vocabularly I [don't] have. Love you, girl. ;)

Laurie Kolp said...

Breath-taking.

Fireblossom said...

Aw, dayum, Kel. Now I will either not sleep tonight, or I will, and have some very sweet dreams.

Sylvia K said...

Great feeling of intimacy. I suspect I may have some great dreams tonight!

pandamoniumcat said...

I love the intimacy, fragility and vulnerability... breath like a petal. Very nice!

manicddaily said...

Very sweet and sensual poem. k.

Mary said...

This poem draws us into the moment....deeply!

Bodhirose said...

See, it's ALL about the breath.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Very beautiful - and draws the unsuspecting reader in with the strength of a Venus flytrap! It is a wowzer, kiddo!

sreeja harikrishnan said...

oh, breath taking indeed....

Fred Rutherford said...

really nice and funny how I just ordered a couple books from Amazon about breathing. Talk about coincidence. excellent piece MZ, really enjoyed it. Thanks

Dave King said...

Every breath
a petal
sweet / crushed
and pulled.

Fabulous stanza. Eight words, and I keep reading more into them.

cloudfactor5 said...

An intimately poetic brushstroke with velveteen ending!
Loved your powerful use of repetition here!

happygirl said...

Such a sexy piece. It took my breath away.

Kelvin S.M. said...

...I really like the closure & tone in this..smiles...

sheila said...

gentle yet hot, all in the same breath. impressive, I like.

kkkkaty said...

..breath is a miracle:)

kaykuala said...

One gets out of breath with this. That's how effective it is with the staccato bursts you've given here! Nicely MZ!

Hank

Frank Watson said...

The rhythm and form of the poem nicely reinforce the theme of "breath"

your poem itself,
another breath

my heart's love songs said...

this is exquisite! one of my very favorites, MZ!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Exquisite.