ah each breath has so much possibility...and some are best used without words...nice bit of intimacy in there as well...it is nice when those breathes are as soft as petals...and each one we take/pluck is gone, until the next...
I love the rhythm you create with your repetition, and the fact that you talk about sweat without talking about sweat. Licking without talking about licking. Warm and warming means things are already hot but getting hotter. Your ending is slammin': "sweet/crushed and pulled." I like the slash rather than a comma. Sweet or crushed. Maybe you can't decide. Maybe it's a cycle between tenderness and brokenness. But no matter what, you are pulled ... pulled apart, stretched to the fullest, stretched to your breaking point, removed from the stem. Loves me, loves me not.
I just read Luke's "Pulling Petals" yesterday, so this is a nice coincidence. I like them together. Bravo.
Oh, and knowing that you're Miss Zen, I like the meditative implications as well. I like, I like, I like. Wow, what an impressive vocabularly I [don't] have. Love you, girl. ;)
really nice and funny how I just ordered a couple books from Amazon about breathing. Talk about coincidence. excellent piece MZ, really enjoyed it. Thanks
26 comments:
ah each breath has so much possibility...and some are best used without words...nice bit of intimacy in there as well...it is nice when those breathes are as soft as petals...and each one we take/pluck is gone, until the next...
"Every breath a petal" - a thing of great wonder and beauty, but also fragile and transient. Loving the imagery MZ
Sweet and sensual.
Beautifully sensual write. You've created a wonderfully intimate moment.
I like the breathing in and out, each one a petal sweet / crushed and pulled ~ Love this one MZ~
I love the rhythm you create with your repetition, and the fact that you talk about sweat without talking about sweat. Licking without talking about licking. Warm and warming means things are already hot but getting hotter. Your ending is slammin': "sweet/crushed and pulled." I like the slash rather than a comma. Sweet or crushed. Maybe you can't decide. Maybe it's a cycle between tenderness and brokenness. But no matter what, you are pulled ... pulled apart, stretched to the fullest, stretched to your breaking point, removed from the stem. Loves me, loves me not.
I just read Luke's "Pulling Petals" yesterday, so this is a nice coincidence. I like them together. Bravo.
Oh, and knowing that you're Miss Zen, I like the meditative implications as well. I like, I like, I like. Wow, what an impressive vocabularly I [don't] have. Love you, girl. ;)
Breath-taking.
Aw, dayum, Kel. Now I will either not sleep tonight, or I will, and have some very sweet dreams.
Great feeling of intimacy. I suspect I may have some great dreams tonight!
I love the intimacy, fragility and vulnerability... breath like a petal. Very nice!
Very sweet and sensual poem. k.
This poem draws us into the moment....deeply!
See, it's ALL about the breath.
Very beautiful - and draws the unsuspecting reader in with the strength of a Venus flytrap! It is a wowzer, kiddo!
oh, breath taking indeed....
really nice and funny how I just ordered a couple books from Amazon about breathing. Talk about coincidence. excellent piece MZ, really enjoyed it. Thanks
Every breath
a petal
sweet / crushed
and pulled.
Fabulous stanza. Eight words, and I keep reading more into them.
An intimately poetic brushstroke with velveteen ending!
Loved your powerful use of repetition here!
Such a sexy piece. It took my breath away.
...I really like the closure & tone in this..smiles...
gentle yet hot, all in the same breath. impressive, I like.
..breath is a miracle:)
One gets out of breath with this. That's how effective it is with the staccato bursts you've given here! Nicely MZ!
Hank
The rhythm and form of the poem nicely reinforce the theme of "breath"
your poem itself,
another breath
this is exquisite! one of my very favorites, MZ!
♥
Exquisite.
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