A sad story, complete and satisfying in six short lines.
I like the alliteration in bluer blue and redder red. Your poem matches the painting well in colors and emotions.
You do know how to say it perfectly with wonderfully few words!
Short sharp and shuddery, as good for singing as for saying. Perfect match for that pic, also.
enchanting little rhythm to this...that bluer blue will get you every time...like the greener green on the other side
Be careful what you wish for, no?
damn, i never say this, but i wish i wrote this! just perfect, perfect, it's a freaking jumprope rhyme, the kind you don't actually want your kid to learn but they learn it anyway. LOVE IT.
Love the crisp colors and sharp words ~ I wish I wrote this ~
I like nothing better than clear conciseness, and you totally achieved that here. Ideal.
A life written in six lines..regrets are painful
a great tale of the dangers of not appreciating what we have in so few words! killer last line!♥
You have told a story in verse. Lesson learned! Well penned!
Pow. I had to read this twice after it slapped me! The second time, it was still gorgeous, but I saw the foreshadowing. Stunningly tragic as it rises to its innevitble end. And colors! and sounds!
Yes, Yes, Yes... every word, every line.
Oy, such a gutpunch. Perfect.
May seem like the easy way out but Shay expressed my exact thoughts on this...I love how complete it is, MZ!!
... be careful what you look for.
Awesome artwork. Awesome poem.The first stanza is my favorite.
A very familiar theme that many find themselves grappling with! Nicely MZHank
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