Very interesting images you portray, I hope your ribs aren't too bruised haha
Loved this, especially the last stanza
the abacus of my ribs...great turn of phrase...i am a feast...nice...a banquet for the beast, well maybe not...consumed...
i prefer words to numbers anytime..
How to use you well . . . especially if one prefers feast to famine! Very Neat!
GRRROWWRR! "What's for dinner, BEAR (not "bare") woman"?"Your favorite...RIBS!!!"
With you all the way on this. Numbers and I'd starve to death. lolAb fab imagery MZ
Love your analogy... It's the same for me.
oooh LOVE it, love the rhymes and the cleverness! yum.
Loved the simplicity and brilliance of this writing! Merry Christmas to you and yours, Mosk
abacus of your ribs... very nice
great use of the metaphors in both stanzas. Humorous and strident poetry. Just enough to pack a punch.
Great use of metaphor. Loved the ribs/abacus image. Strong and multi-layered meaning.
If I were you, I would say "I'm a feast" so that the sixth line will parallel the opening line (using "I'm" rather than "I am"). I think this will make the rhythm even nicer than it already is. Great sound throughout.I find "a banquet for the beasts unleashed by what actually is" to be the very best part. But the whole thing is right on. Great work. How cool that we were in number sync today.
Maybe I've known you too long, but when you talk about numbers, I get visuals in my mind; numbers that enumerate order and disorder, safety and disaster and the tightrope in between. It's very hard to explain in words.And then, the words. I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but I read it as a rich world of imagination which is consumed too often by the beasts of workaday reality. In all, a tense, uneasy poem, really well put. None of your other commenters seem to see it this way, but that's how I see it.
'Unleashed by what actually is' --- this is wow. I enjoyed this, MZ.
Awesome write !
I love it when a writer plays with words from math. Lovely.
Wow, mama, what a concise piece packed with so much expression. The opening pulled me right in. Good stuff.Pamela
Your words are always a banquet... This is just delectable.
..very nice transition on this... smiles...
in the beginning was the word . . . by the end there may be only numbers remaining, but they wont be called anything so they'll be boring . . . lol . . . i was hoping to go deep with my comment but i ended up with a squib but rather a squib than 3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 5820974944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679i dont believe in PI but i do believe in PO :Dnice work mama!
Here's what I see in meaning:The numbers section is talking about who you are when stripped down to the "bare-bones" essence---as in a numbered list, a rating system, or binary code. It's simplified, glaring truth. I see you presenting yourself naked to men for approval; over the course of your life, when you've just given yourself in all honesty (feeling very small and insignificant---a low number), you get maybes in response. But this has more to do with how you feel about yourself than it has to do with how others see you.But in words, you can dazzle and shine. When you write, you become something people desperately desire to possess. You can create yourself anew, becoming anything you want to be---turning yourself into a feast.And in the ending is the twist. What you actually are is clever (even when you feel like what you are isn't worth much); you are a woman who has great ability to "release the leash." But only when you're working in words, stepping away from fact sheet, the database, the record you're keeping about all your flaws.And when the beasts (who once said maybe but now gulp yes) are eating you up, they don't even realize you're the same girl who couldn't get their attention when working in numbers but can make anything happen when you're given access to words.Or maybe this isn't right at all. But it's what I see.
" calculatedon the anxiousabacusof my ribs."I both the alliteration (anxious abacus) and analogy between "calculated," "abacus," and "ribs" (as something you can "count" on) Clever. Nicely penned.
a banquet for the beasts unleashed..I like the way this sounds!
wonderfully worded. The abacus, how cool. Thanks
For some of us, numbers and words are the same language and equally exciting and amazing. It depends on how far you got in math -- or in language. :-)
"the anxious abacus of my ribs""beasts unleashed by what actually is"wow! stunning, MZ! absolutely stunning!♥
Cool poem, wonderful cadence. I love the imagery of "abacus / of my ribs".
Love words and love numbers and love your words!Anna :o]
I love best here the idea of the abacus of the ribs. Well done. k.
Like you, I am a words woman. Just the way it is. Bounty.
Provocative. I love the image of ribs as the parallel rows of a beaded abacus.
Wow - this is great. I love the contrast of numbers and words and all that implies.
beautifully expressed.... and I must admit the same is true, true, true for me!
short and brilliant many thoughts trail from this
Numbers can baffle me...well, I guess, sometimes so can words. I like this, MZ.
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