Monday, October 8, 2012

Partition

Vague has its own vibration.
Loneliness likes to hold hands.
Your eyes are a darkroom
where negatives seem to transcend
every pinprick of light
that I try to sneak in.

Damn this throbbing in my head;
overexposed again.

The quivering edge of the high note
hangs like a bracelet on the bone.
I'm huddled, small, in your sweatshirt.
And, I just want to go home
so I can build myself a partition
between you here and you gone

to keep myself from looking backward
and keep moving on.

A belated Flipside poem for Open Link Monday at Real Toads

20 comments:

Sylvia K said...

Ah, yes, I can relate!!

Fireblossom said...

A melancholy poem for a melancholy evening. The speaker sounds so weary.

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

I don't know why, but i'm having a lot of trouble commenting to this.
And i've read it several times.
For some reason, it seems sacred~untouchable.
Like, how dare my thoughts pretend to know.
The first line floored me.
Describing vague? Wow
And going home to build a wall to hide the walls? Wow
It's excellent mz, as always.
But i'm afraid to hold it
~even touch it
~rick

Laurie Kolp said...

As always, wonderful I especially like:

Your eyes are a darkroom
where negatives seem to transcend
every pinprick of light
that I try to sneak in.

my heart's love songs said...

LOVE this, MZ! stunning!

hedgewitch said...

From the third line in, this turns savagely real, coldly invasive, as if there's nowhere to go, but the need to go on won't let the speaker rest. Fine writing, MZ, exquisitely so, like a scalpel that cuts through bone.

kaykuala said...

Vague has its own vibration.
Loneliness likes to hold hands

One is almost stuck in vagueness when lonely. The first line is classic MZ!

Hank

Mary said...

Sometimes it is so hard to stop looking backwards though, even when one knows one should! A strong write, MZ.

unfetteredbs said...

every pin prick of light.. love the imagery

Brian Miller said...

nice rhythm in this....and those tangible reminders like the sweatshirt...wearing it like a hug....and looking back so easy to fall into...

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Almost cinematic

"The quivering edge of the high note
hangs like a bracelet on the bone."

Your poems have a strong visual element to them but are done with the most economical use of language. Superb!

PattiKen said...

If only those partitions weren't so damned hard to build... Great piece, as always.

aprille said...

Doesn't sound like a temporary separation.

Kerry O'Connor said...

That third stanza speaks very clearly to my ears. Time doesn't heal some wounds.

Jinksy said...

Loneliness does indeed like to hold hands. :)

Kay L. Davies said...

Gut-wrenching truth here, MZ, I can only hope it isn't your present truth.
K

flipside records said...

"Vague has its own vibration." What an excellent opening line, the sound as well as the meaning.

I love your play on words with "negative" here: "where negatives seem to transcend"

Could you be more awesome?! ... "Damn this throbbing in my head; overexposed again."

"bone" ... LOL. I actually put "bones" in my last poem for you.

I like that the ending might mean a couple of different things. I think you're saying you plan to keep yourself from moving at all; you are frozen.

I'm so glad I caught this! If you write for an older prompt, leave a comment so that I don't miss it. :) But I do try to catch all of your work.

Tatius T. Darksong said...

Very nice piece,
I continue to look backwards to see my future unfold to correct my mistakes before they become realities

Margaret said...

...this is quite a long poem for your :) But not one word wasted or unnecessary. I echo all of the above, like all the phrases mentioned. Excellent!

Michael said...

hmmmm. its the fact that other people write such things that brings me back and lets me smile again. tips hat