Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Tired

Come dark I'll embark
on sleep's thin raft.
It's brittle rest at best,
but it's all I have

between harried days that eat away
at my shallow grace.
Between shrill demands that sand
the smile right off my face.

I willow into my pillow
like it's a lover desired,
and dream of the me I'd be
if I just wasn't so tired.

19 comments:

Susie Clevenger said...

Oh this sounds like me. I don't sleep much and seem to be so tired lately. I love the ending...I will willow into my pillow...

Mary said...

I just love this.

The ending -- so true.

Fireblossom said...

"shrill demands that sand the smile right off my face". That's real and sad and also nicely written with the demands/sand/smile in it.

I know I am not the same person when I am overtaxed as when i am relaxed; I don't think anyone is.

I too like the willow line that Susie liked.

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

This was weird. As i began reading, it turned into a song! Especially the last stanza which will now play on loop all night.
Yikes!
But a good song, i promise.
Rick

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Loved this from start to fin.

hedgewitch said...

Just enough rhyme to make it sound like a lullaby, when it's perhaps *the* un-lullaby, that fleeing to oblivion. Life does all those things you call out here and more, and you condense them into almost a mantra of fatigue.

Sylvia K said...

This is awesome and, yes, from start to finish!!

Brian Miller said...

ha. ugh i know tired here of late...working real hours once more and all the kids at school...i fall into the pillow at night....

ayala said...

We spread ourselves thin... True write ! Nice !

Michael said...

Nice rhythm there.

Grandmother said...

Somehow the line I most relate to is... harried days that eat away at my shallow grace… because it says so well just what those days do. I admire the rhyme in this is as well - so clever.

PattiKen said...

I agree with the others. The delicate rhyme here makes this play like a song. Lovely.

flipside records said...

I love "shallow grace" as a variation of "shallow grave." This is a faith that is not deep, so you feel like the grace is not deep. God's toward you and yours toward others.

You've also altered the expression "crying into my pillow" to come up with "willow into my pillow." So clever.

"and dream of the me I'd be
if I just wasn't so tired" ... Don't we all? I wonder about the me I'd be if I just wasn't so tired and lazy. :)

Laurie Kolp said...

Love the ending!

happygirl said...

shrill demands that sand the smile off my face. Yes, yes, and yes. What a way with words. :)

manicddaily said...

Wonderful poem - lyrical but also too too real. Very well done. k.

manicddaily said...

Wonderful poem - lyrical but also too too real. Very well done. k.

Margaret said...

...on sleep's thin raft! OH, how I relate. We have a new puppy I get up to potty at 4:30 and children I get up at 6:00 for school and one I homeschool and one is only 4. (the ones in college only bother me when they need money :)

Willow into my pillow is such a fab line... Well, the whole last stanza is magnificent. It almost was a FF55!

my heart's love songs said...

"...that eat away
at my shallow grace."

great line!

sleep? i think i remember hearing of that. isn't it something you do by yourself at night?