Saturday, September 22, 2012

September Girl

photo by Ellen Wilson
 
September Girl
shakes the branches
with an eye to winning ribbons.

Autumn Woman
shakes in places
she doesn't think is fair.

Judging a pear / pair.

A stab at a sevenling for the Sunday Challenge at Real Toads

33 comments:

Mary said...

Very clever! Love it!!

Isadora Gruye said...

clever indeed, MZ. This form is much fun, but a little work. I enjoyed your use of contradiction in the first and second stanza, and your one line third stanza pack a delicious punch. well done.

Sylvia K said...

Clever indeed! And just the giggle I needed to wind down my day!! Sleep well, MZ! I know I will now!!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Very clever. I love it, MZ.

PattiKen said...

I love this. But I have to ask... And what of Winter Woman?

Kerry O'Connor said...

This picture is very evocative of Autumn... and every woman must proudly flaunt her luscious pears at the fair!

Robyn Greenhouse said...

Great poem! I'm still smiling after reading it!

Brian Miller said...

ha, fun dance in your verse...nice word play...i rather like the fair, and you gave me a little chuckle at the pair....smiles

Fireblossom said...

Laffin @ Kerry's comment.

Sioux said...

Yes, in Autumn the fruit hangs low on the trees. Sometimes it almost drags on the ground...without proper support, of course.

Laurie Kolp said...

Love this, MZ!

AntiquityTravelers said...

wonderfully written!

ayala said...

Nice and clever !

anthonynorth said...

Clever haiku. Enjoyed them.

Green Speck said...

This was fun :-)

hedgewitch said...

Totally relatable--and very sharply drawn--and of course I am also ROFling--reminds me of the old blues line "if you don't want my peaches, honey don't shake my tree."

Grace said...

I like the contrast, yet the pairing is strong ~

Susie Clevenger said...

Love it! This autumn woman is liking the "shaking" going on in her pair. lol

manicddaily said...

Very funny, MZ. And so clever. k.

happygirl said...

Just got back from the county fair in my area. I love a blue ribbon and I love a pear (or pair). :)

Mary Mansfield said...

Love your twist on this! Very nicely done!

lessandragr said...

Very clever! A great ending!

Margaret said...

... I think my Autumn has arrived... ;P

amidemanila said...

a real ender...what a poem...

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

I love her!
Simply for being september girl

The rest was gravy
Rick

Helen said...

Love, love this!!!

Hannah said...

SO entertaining, Mama!! Nicely captured pears/pair! :)

Other Mary said...

Ah, the effects of gravity on the pair, er...pear. Lol, nice one!

Marian said...

ooooh love it, you had me from September Girl.

Susan said...

Fun, crisp, pudgy, sweet. I like your poems that take me by the scruff of the neck and shake.

hoofprintsinmygarden said...

This is very clever and fun. I guess I'm in autumn... I sure shake in places I'm not happy about.

Ella said...

Well Done, so fun to read ;D

Donald Allen said...

Very intelligent poetry. I love it.