Saturday, August 11, 2012

Summer Blonde

I starved myself blonde
that summer.
Wished on every star I saw.
Cluttered the backseat
with boyfriends and girlfriends
and fed myself raven
come fall.

For Poetics at dVerse

39 comments:

Brian Miller said...

oo smooth pain in this one...we can try to stuff that emptiness with others but it dont help....love the close too mz

Lori McClure said...

Wow, so much in so few words. Right out of the gate, your words are zinging with power,
"I starved myself blonde
that summer."

Along with the beautiful sadness throughout, I am overcome with the impact your brevity creates. Well done :)

Sioux said...

"Cluttered the backseat with boyfriends and girlfriends" is a wonderful image.

hedgewitch said...

Never have liked blondes,(not counting Peter O'Toole) despite being one--those cold cold blue eyes...your use of starve and fed is perfect, sharp and drives the whole poem.

Mary said...

Good times at the time...later we understand what we didn't know then.

flipside records said...

I like your play on words. "I starved myself (until I turned) blonde (or like everybody else)." Or, I starved myself of blondes.

The same in the closing ... you fed yourself until your hair turned raven, or you fed yourself actual raven. In which case, you are probably a witch. So damn the stars, you are going to get your way someone. Forget the straight path; you're going crooked.

The thing about starving is that when you start "eating" again, you need far more than you did in the first place.

Margaret said...

Awesome... and cluttered the backseat is just a wonderful expression. And all the while, wishing upon stars.

Amazing!

Susan said...

starved/blonde/summer
fed/raven/fall
Hmm
and the clutter? Perhaps a piece or two remained?
It feels as if you are talking about teen-ness. I would not go back for love nor money.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Tightly packed. Love the 'fed myself raven' Dark moods there.

Claudia said...

awesome..starving yourself blonde and feeding you raven come fall...love it

Fred Rutherford said...

Super cool lines MZ, especially the opener and the fed myself raven. Very neat Such a fantastic write. Thanks

Kerry O'Connor said...

I say this without prejudice:

You are one of the finest poets currently writing on the blogs. There is a difference between expressing oneself creatively and writing poetry. This is poetry.

kaykuala said...

Sadness with goodness,MZ! So much said in so little!

Hank

Gemma Wiseman said...

Just the first line is a cameo drama in itself, firing the reader into the following, hollow hell of loneliness, desperate to find some filling! Stunning!

poemsofhateandhope.com said...

Short and packing a real melancholy punch...something about the contrasting emotions with the backdrop of the seasons that I really really liked

Brendan said...

Saddest and most beautiful those season where we so wanted to believe that for a time we could ward off the part of us that never would. -B

Dick Jones said...

I like the compression of wit and melancholy into so small a space. Pithy and poignant.

Mimi Foxmorton said...

Yikes! I might have done that once! ;)

This is really, really beautiful!

Daydreamertoo said...

I echo all the comments. Poetry at its finest.

Marbles in My Pocket said...

This one hits hard and quick, like a bantam weight boxer. Nicely done.

Jerry said...

Kind of an eating disorder eh? those are some tight lines my dear...they echo.

happygirl said...

I starved myself blonde. Perfect.

Fireblossom said...

I really love that opening and closing, the way you used blonde and raven to describe a whole set of things.

To me, the middle section is a as blue and as gray as a stormy beach in summer. This poem makes rain come, it's so blue and bittersweet.

I think 'm jealous of the boyfriends and girlfriends, though, probably, I should not be.

In any case, I like you raven. And, you could make the leaves turn color and fall, just by walking by.

brenda w said...

I love this, especially the first line, and the last two lines. Great work.

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

I love that first line! And any write with raven in it.
Did any of us escape that damn summer?
Rick

She Writes said...

I absolutely love this. Every. Single. Line. BRAVO!

wanderer above the mist said...

Love the flow.

Laurie Kolp said...

That first line will stay with me for a long time. Wonderful poem!!

jen revved said...

Wow-- so much gleams out from this gem. Very imaginative and poignant-- xxxj

Bodhirose said...

Wow...contrasts can come fast and hard sometimes...sounds like a teenager's summer. Love it!

pandamoniumcat said...

great words, what we do and what we ultimately pay for... just life!

Teresa said...

There's something about summer that just seems unreal. The memories that are made certainly can last a lifetime.

sheila said...

yah, changes on the outside never seemed to work for me either.

daydreamerdreams said...

You have a wonderful way with words! The plight of many girls is it not? Still looking back, those days are oddly longed for...

Great poem!

When Words Escape said...

Thanks for swinging by my blog and for your comment there.

I like the bookended effect of using "starve" at the beginning with "fed" at the end. Nice!

rallentanda said...

If you are going to be young
and do summer..one can never be too thin or too blonde:)

Grandmother said...

Sad what we do to find what we think we want and come up empty. But I love that you say so much with so few but such powerful words!

manicddaily said...

Wonderful. Eating raven a powerful substitute for crow. k.

myheartslovesongs.com said...

"and fed myself raven
come fall."

this is stunning, MZ! simply delicious!