oo smooth pain in this one...we can try to stuff that emptiness with others but it dont help....love the close too mz
Wow, so much in so few words. Right out of the gate, your words are zinging with power, "I starved myself blondethat summer."Along with the beautiful sadness throughout, I am overcome with the impact your brevity creates. Well done :)
"Cluttered the backseat with boyfriends and girlfriends" is a wonderful image.
Never have liked blondes,(not counting Peter O'Toole) despite being one--those cold cold blue eyes...your use of starve and fed is perfect, sharp and drives the whole poem.
Good times at the time...later we understand what we didn't know then.
I like your play on words. "I starved myself (until I turned) blonde (or like everybody else)." Or, I starved myself of blondes.The same in the closing ... you fed yourself until your hair turned raven, or you fed yourself actual raven. In which case, you are probably a witch. So damn the stars, you are going to get your way someone. Forget the straight path; you're going crooked.The thing about starving is that when you start "eating" again, you need far more than you did in the first place.
Awesome... and cluttered the backseat is just a wonderful expression. And all the while, wishing upon stars. Amazing!
starved/blonde/summerfed/raven/fallHmmand the clutter? Perhaps a piece or two remained? It feels as if you are talking about teen-ness. I would not go back for love nor money.
Tightly packed. Love the 'fed myself raven' Dark moods there.
awesome..starving yourself blonde and feeding you raven come fall...love it
Super cool lines MZ, especially the opener and the fed myself raven. Very neat Such a fantastic write. Thanks
I say this without prejudice:You are one of the finest poets currently writing on the blogs. There is a difference between expressing oneself creatively and writing poetry. This is poetry.
Sadness with goodness,MZ! So much said in so little!Hank
Just the first line is a cameo drama in itself, firing the reader into the following, hollow hell of loneliness, desperate to find some filling! Stunning!
Short and packing a real melancholy punch...something about the contrasting emotions with the backdrop of the seasons that I really really liked
Saddest and most beautiful those season where we so wanted to believe that for a time we could ward off the part of us that never would. -B
I like the compression of wit and melancholy into so small a space. Pithy and poignant.
Yikes! I might have done that once! ;)This is really, really beautiful!
I echo all the comments. Poetry at its finest.
This one hits hard and quick, like a bantam weight boxer. Nicely done.
Kind of an eating disorder eh? those are some tight lines my dear...they echo.
I starved myself blonde. Perfect.
I really love that opening and closing, the way you used blonde and raven to describe a whole set of things.To me, the middle section is a as blue and as gray as a stormy beach in summer. This poem makes rain come, it's so blue and bittersweet.I think 'm jealous of the boyfriends and girlfriends, though, probably, I should not be.In any case, I like you raven. And, you could make the leaves turn color and fall, just by walking by.
I love this, especially the first line, and the last two lines. Great work.
I love that first line! And any write with raven in it.Did any of us escape that damn summer?Rick
I absolutely love this. Every. Single. Line. BRAVO!
Love the flow.
That first line will stay with me for a long time. Wonderful poem!!
Wow-- so much gleams out from this gem. Very imaginative and poignant-- xxxj
Wow...contrasts can come fast and hard sometimes...sounds like a teenager's summer. Love it!
great words, what we do and what we ultimately pay for... just life!
There's something about summer that just seems unreal. The memories that are made certainly can last a lifetime.
yah, changes on the outside never seemed to work for me either.
You have a wonderful way with words! The plight of many girls is it not? Still looking back, those days are oddly longed for...Great poem!
Thanks for swinging by my blog and for your comment there.I like the bookended effect of using "starve" at the beginning with "fed" at the end. Nice!
If you are going to be youngand do summer..one can never be too thin or too blonde:)
Sad what we do to find what we think we want and come up empty. But I love that you say so much with so few but such powerful words!
Wonderful. Eating raven a powerful substitute for crow. k.
"and fed myself raven come fall."this is stunning, MZ! simply delicious!♥
Post a Comment