Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Silvered

Sad and silvered are these bones -
safe from sinner's death decay.
Oh, but where you held my heart,
hell's hateful hemlock has its way!

I'm always drawn to the imagery of bones . . .
For Words Count at Real Toads

30 comments:

Mary said...

Darkly evocative write here, MZ. Gives me a bit of a shiver though.

aprille said...

My dislexic eye read 'slivered bones', which puts a different slant on things :-)

Sylvia K said...

Ah, you did shiver my bones this morning, MZ!

Susan said...

Yikes! It is very difficult to picture a poisoned heart within such sensuous shiny bones! It is a tribute to your writing power that I always delve into your power images and motifs. Pleasure of the best kind ensues.

Laurie Kolp said...

Quite an image. I'm sorry I went over 25 words. I'm going to work on that.

Kerry O'Connor said...

There are several powerful words in this poem from the silver to decay and hemlock.
'bones' hangs there on the end of the line like an echo.. This is a very potent poem in 4 lines.

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

Hell's hemlock and silvered bones.
A powerful contrast of eerie choices.
Well done!
Rick

razzamadazzle said...

I'm so glad you are drawn to that image because you draw it so well. I love the alliteration in here too.

Brian Miller said...

ha nice allit in that last line...and a little hells not a bad thing is it...smiles...

Margaret said...

Georgia O'Keeffe comes to mind. (not a bad artist to be compared to! ;)

PattiKen said...

This is perfect with the image of bones. It reminds me of Edna St. Vincent Millay for some reason. I liked it.

manicddaily said...

I was a bit rushed before, sorry - but wanted to say that all of the alliteration works wonderfully here, MZ. k.

Carol Steel 5050 said...

Evocative and delicious, loved the line "hell's hateful hemlock." You write magic.

flipside records said...

Nice contrast between the two parts of you, one protected from sin and the other indulging in it. I love that you impose such a limiting (freeing) word count. Brevity can add such richness to poetry.

hedgewitch said...

The alliteration is masterful, and I'm always about the bones--and hell's hemlock to the heart. Showing us how it's done, girl.

Daydreamertoo said...

Dem bones dem bones dem dry bones.
;)

Day Dreamer said...

We both seemed to have a spiritual undertone for the prompt. Darkly beautiful. Well penned Mama Zen!

Fireblossom said...

Ms. Poe, I presume? This has that feel, of another time, and of death and the grave, but also of love, and thwarted desire.

Aw, MZ...we already knew you were b-b-b-bad to the bone. ;-)

Lolamouse said...

Dark and rich, like a good chocolate!

ds said...

Wonderful alliterations; my bones are quaking. "Hell's hateful hemlock"--awesome! Great stuff. Thank you.

Helen said...

At first glance I read 'slivered' bones and couldn't imagine where you were going or how you would pull that off in 25 words! This is an incredibly powerful poem.

Hannah said...

Wow, Mama Z!! In your first line you capture a feeling and I love the color that plays there...continuing with the mood...wonderful.

izzy said...

Bones ! good one- when I was very young my brother excavated a good size bone, in France. We were by some old caves
and had a lot of fun speculating on what it was! Cow femur I think- :)

Ella said...

I agree you have Poe going on in this poem! It is fun to read and ponder~ I loved it!

happygirl said...

Silvered bones sound lovely. Have you ever heard of the Capela dos Ossos in Rome. You'd love it. :)

Claudia said...

ha...short, dark, tight and so good

Sioux said...

Spare and succinct...dynamically dazzling...Oh, crap. It's too weird of an hour to even try and pull off some brilliant alliteration to pay homage to your piece.

My apologies...

Tania A said...

Delicious!

She Writes said...

So much said in so few words. Bravo!

Sheila said...

what an intriguing prompt. may have to give it a go. thanks!