Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sick Bed

When my illness craves your illness
and my plague pines for your dark plague,
I prepare my pride and poultice
and take to the sick bed I've made.
With Bible, bleeding bowl, and blade
atop my fever twisted sheets,
what unsuspecting haste is made
to bring you, my disease, to me.

For Poetics at dVerse

29 comments:

Mary said...

I think I have caught your fever....or maybe it is just seasonal allergies.

(I enjoyed your write!)

Uneven Stephen said...

Wonderfully twisted! That last line is fantastic.

brenda w said...

The first four lines are astounding! Your piece makes me feel like mine is trite. I love the depth you've brought to the form. Bravo!

hedgewitch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hedgewitch said...

Let's try it in English this time:

The plosive alliteration here is like a hammer, or the thumping of someone else's headboard on a thin motel wall at 3 am. Every line is sharp as that razor, and sometimes you got to get sicker before you get better. Loved it, every word.

Sylvia K said...

Terrific as always! You always amaze me!

Fireblossom said...

I love the "bible, bleeding bowl, and blade".

Even when you drag us through the badly lit back halls of the fever ward, there is still an element of the fours star hotel, just because of how well you write it. Still, I don't think that's a mint on the pillow...

Beachanny said...

Not only the alliteration, but the clever structure, the anchor of the subject and the exploration is exceptional in these short, few lines. Brilliantly conceived and executed!

Bodhirose said...

Oooo...sick indeed! Love it!

PattiKen said...

Oh, I think I know this person. A mutual friend often says "she enjoys poor health."

Brian Miller said...

oo shivers...there is a bit of darkness in your verse....i like you use of repetition and alliteration...

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

some would call this love, others, passion and desire.
a connection blind of light and dark, but unstoppable.
later, it becomes either memory or regret. but always unstoppable.
you defined it perfectly.
rick

She Writes said...

Seductive from a dark place, which totally works!

manicddaily said...

Wonderful. Oohh. k.

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Lovely language play and dark comedic possibilities abound in the central narrative

flipside records said...

Somehow you have managed to raise both "ew" and "yum" from my mouth at the same time.

This is my favorite part:

"With Bible, bleeding bowl, and blade
atop my fever twisted sheets"

myheartslovesongs.com said...

whhhheeeewwwww! that gave me shivers! {because it creeped me out, scared the shit out of me and because you're soooo damn good!}

Gemma Wiseman said...

O rose thou art sick..." I think William Blake would adore this poem! This gets right into the grizzly heart of a creeping disease!

Fred Rutherford said...

so cool. Love the tone, great word choices. Amazing work with this form MZ. Thanks

Grandmother said...

I know the truth in this and admire how you've let me peek in such a way that I can't look away although I'm horrified. Wow!

hyperCRYPTICal said...

I know someone like this! Superb.

Anna :o]

Daydreamertoo said...

Bible, bleeding bowl, blade... Yikes. A true blood letting. Kinky disease ;) dark and sensual.

Mimi Foxmorton said...

Love the blood letting, purification imagery! Delicious chills! Beautiful! :)

Mimi
Collage Pirate

Sioux said...

I agree with Fireblossom. No mint on the pillow, no light left on...I'm trying to think of what the twisted opposite of a mint on the pillow is...but my brain is dead right now.

Laurie Kolp said...

This is wonderful!

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love everything about this!

kaykuala said...

Being sick is being given extra attention. Some just love being sick. Great write MZ!

Hank

Susan said...

Sick bed indeed! Ironic to bring the Bible and Blade together on
"fever twisted sheets" with "unsuspecting haste." Is she cutting? Is she in love? I keep flashing on the Joni Mitchell song:
"Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
Oh and you taste so bitter but you taste so sweet Oh I could drink a case of you . . ."

I really LOVE being reminded of that song. I LOVE how your poems always move me, how I am drawn to their magnetism.

Serena said...

What an amazing poem... the line "With Bible, bleeding bowl, and blade" gives me much to think about. I love everything about it... it reminds me how I am my own worst enemy...