Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Monastery Wine

We drank monastery wine,
got leather lashed and vacant,
and chewed the long day's demon fruit
down to stone pit night.

From our hospital hearts
came poetry -
surgically scarred,
but grammatically correct -
limping through our thickened lips
in a mad mix
of thumb crunching consonants,
strutting sex,
and slouching innuendo

until we fell

into silent genius
and the well-tried triangles
of our own eccentric geometry.

A Flipside poem

13 comments:

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

Hmm, gonna have to read through this some more~not sure i got the bullet where it was aimed.
I loved how ~came poetry~blossomed into a new chapter. And the ending was perfect.
Well done, mz
Rick

hedgewitch said...

I've read three of these from Shawna's list--all very different in a mad way--but I have to say, I really like what you did above and beyond the words--using them as a start and not a prop. You are writing especially well these days, MZ--I'm enjoying getting to be on the reading end.
'slouching innuendo' !!

She Writes said...

This so good. I always love math/geometry mixed into writing, so kudos! The word play is fun. Strutting sex against slouching innuendo... NICE! And those final tow lines of the first stanza... Really just good stuff!

happygirl said...

Who doesn't love a well-tried triangle..

flipside records said...

I love that this could be about lovers or about best friends getting into trouble together. Either way, both parties are equal in intellect, which is a rare find. That's what makes their time together so much fun.

"got leather lashed and vacant" ... Great line.

"hearts ... surgically scarred,
but grammatically correct" ... Broken hearts (cut up and poorly stitched back together) seemingly still functional in all the important, presentable ways. This could refer to relationship histories or to previous abuse of some sort.

Love this, the way you and your friend(s) toss around language and ludeness:
"in a mad mix
of thumb crunching consonants,
strutting sex,
and slouching innuendo"

This is so perfect on its own line: "until we fell" ... A person can fall from grace, fall in love, fall on her bum. Any number of inferences can be made here. I particularly like the rhyme of "fell" and "well" a couple of lines later.

The ending is my favorite part:
"until we fell
into silent genius
and the well-tried triangles
of our own eccentric geometry" ... "Silent genius" is a superb phrase, as is "well-tried triangles." Is it a love triangle? Or any number of other things a triangle could represent ... or just for fun because it's one of the prompt words. :) As a symbol, it could be anything you want. Nevertheless, "eccentric geometry" might fold the lines into a completely unnameable shape. Essentially, you go your own way.

Or maybe you're describing unique and varied "positions." :) Or yoga postures.

Brian Miller said...

got to be careful of those triangles...as long as the points dont know about each other...and all...some really nice word pairings in this MZ

Fireblossom said...

I like the hospital hearts.

Mary said...

Please share the monastery wine! I enjoyed this.

Fred Rutherford said...

amazing use of adjectives, a really fun poem to read aloud. Love the images, again, tying back in with the awe I have for your amazing choice in adjectives here. Great read. Thanks

Sioux said...

"strutting sex" and "slouching innuendo" are brilliant phrases.

Susan said...

Bet knowing the context would help me understand these confessional and richly imagistic lines . . . but I will play: Here, indeed, is a monastary complete with flagellation and wine and the implied or real sexuality, and it makes me think of the Assassin in Dan Brown's "Da Vinci Code"--such a sick sick believer and the inverted triangles of the feminine principle, Sophia. How am I doing?

BTW: I very much enjoyed riding on these images into your poem.

Annie said...

Deeply personal imagery that doesn't give away the meaning but sends the mind off on its own tangents.

myheartslovesongs.com said...

okay, two of your poems are all i can handle in one night...

{{{between you and hedge and coal/fireblossom, i'm just gonna start eating pencils till i get lead poisoning and never write again...}}}