Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Hieroglyphics



Night's hieroglyphics are plain to me
as initials carved on a tree.
Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti.
Stars shine with secrets.
Moons fill to tell.
Then, sunrise
steals my
sight.

Submitted to Words Count at Real Toads

36 comments:

Fireblossom said...

Wouldn't this be better with five or six more stanzas?

Ow, why'd you wail on me? Geez.

Hannah said...

I love the feeling of symbolism and etched secrets throughout this, Mama!! You captured something mysterious here...love it!!

Daydreamertoo said...

Loved this just as it is :)

Susan said...

Feeling one with the night? with the blindness of history? secrets? gossip spilling forth? Yes, that is what darkness is for! As if the brightness of day uncovers all of the secrets! Dang, that was already 32 words--and I so wanted to tell you how Edison's invention was a conspiracy to leave no shadows unturned . . .

Sylvia K said...

I love it and no one says it better and not going on and on and on is one of your incredible talents!

flipside records said...

Yeah, night language can certainly be easier to speak/decipher than day language.

Your opening and closing are my favorites:

"Night's hieroglyphics are plain to me"

"Then, sunrise steals my sight."

Brian Miller said...

Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti....nice...i like the flip in that...and the night is more my speed as well...

Kerry O'Connor said...

See now what you say in 5 words:

Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti.

It's going to take a lot more fine-tuning on my part to get this kind of succinct profundity right.

aprille said...

Lovely scalloped stanza, going up and down in syllables.

Kay L. Davies said...

I love this, especially the last part. I've always been a night person.
K

She Writes Here Now said...

Ah, moonlight IS more illuminating at times.

Grace said...

I do like:

Graffiti is history.
History, graffiti.

Great prompt MZ ~

Willow said...

Oh yes!! I totally feel this.

Susie Clevenger said...

This is so short, but leaves so much for the imagination to get lost in.

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

Hmm....blinded by the light
Provokes thought
In so many ways, the blind see more clearly than the sighted.
And i think we of the night too, or at least differently.
I feel claustrophobic in the giant of day, a little lost. But when night finds me, all is well.
I love the speed and power you get out of economy model poems.
Rick

Sherry Blue Sky said...

So beautiful, Mama Zen........especially the closing lines.

Mary said...

Concisely expressed. I def see that often less is more.

Sioux said...

"Moons fill to tell." Gorgeous.

manicddaily said...

Lovely, short, but does it's job. K.

myheartslovesongs said...

perfection!

Kutamun said...

A very soothing evocation of the moon goddess, EMZEE! Cheers.

happygirl said...

Moons fill to tell. So many secrets kept in the night. Then sunrise steals your sight. Mysterious write. :)

jaerose said...

The world is full of marks and markers..a gift to be able to see them..light can spoil the magic it's true..jae

Tania A said...

"Stars shine with secrets.
Moons fill to tell."

I couldn't agree more. I like this, and the nonet form lends itself to this brevity!

Anders Woje Ellingsen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anders Woje Ellingsen said...

AUTHORITY

Night and day
is okay.
But all right:
day and night.

(✿◠‿◠)

▲ A ▲

izzy said...

I like the way one thing feeds the next! thanks.

daydreamerdreams said...

Beautiful and eloquent as always!

gabrielle said...

An ouroboros painted in fine brush stroke—the visual inspiration and the delicacy of your poem.
The dark is wonderful for sitting with mystery. Initials carved in a tree. The moon fills to tell. How churlish the sun!

Vaishali Jain said...

I NEED to learn the brevity lesson from you, Mama Zen. The prompt was great and your work on it is a sure inspirer.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Short, sweet and just perfect.

Anna :o]

Marian said...

beautiful! said one who is brief with words to another. :) love it, love all of your writing.

Helen said...

Lovely ... like music of the night.

Peggy said...

Great prompt. I like your poem--wonderfully spare.

Sharp Little Pencil said...

"Night's hieroglyphics" is a lovely phrase. The images throughout are astonishing. Spare writing, beautifully done, Mama! Amy
Mine was:
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/07/28/corner-shelf-onstage/

Bee's Blog said...

Graffiti is history. No one can beat that line. Terrific as is the whole piece.