Sunday, July 15, 2012

Constellations

I whispered until the sky came closer
and haloed the dark around my nightspeak lips.
And that's how constellations arose here,
lit by longing and crafted by a wish
for a storm starry night, a breathless kiss,
and a water moon pooled between my thighs
to hungry harbor any sailing ships
led lost by my constellations' lies.

A Huitain for Kerry's Challenge at Real Toads
Also submitted to Poetry Pantry

29 comments:

hedgewitch said...

Beautiful and lyric, and quite romantically warm. I esp like the nightspeak.

Teresa said...

This is a wonderful poem. It's so filled with great images. I love the second line.

Fireblossom said...

Like Hedge, I like the "nightspeak lips", and wonder what that means, when taken together with the last line. It seems to me that the speaker, while seriously seductive, doesn't have light of her own...she draws it close from outside of herself, an acquired halo.

The third line puts me in mind of a fairy story or campfire tale. All in all, the yin and yang of light and dark combine here in a seductive, dangerous dance.

Sioux said...

It is indeed a seductive piece.

Don't you have a little one you chase after? How do you have the energy to be a mom AND write poetry like this?

Life ain't fair... ;)

flipside records said...

"and a water moon pooled between my thighs" ... Good golly. I wasn't expecting this. You were all mystical and dark, and then you went there. What an excellent transition into your scary ending. It's like you're blowing kisses, wishing on stars, and trying to breathe ... and then all of a sudden, people are trapped between your legs wondering how on earth they got there ... when they had just been trying to figure out how in the world to get home, thinking you were giving them good directions.

Heaven said...

Lovely writing MZ ~ I like to hungry harbor any sailing ships ~

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

Hmmm... See, that's why i never believe the stars. And isn't a harbour s'posed to be a safe refuge?
Nothim quite like a storm conspired between see and stars.
Beautiful
Rick

Brian Miller said...

def some heat to this...may he find the constelation and fair winds to sail him home...smiles.

PhotoDiction said...

The ending unexoected - all the more powerful as a result. Beautifully written with lots of wonderful phrases.

Hannah said...

I whispered until the sky came closer
and haloed the dark around my nightspeak lips.

I love this portion especially nightspeak!! Great writing!

PattiKen said...

Awesome. You do so much with few words.

Ella said...

I love this romantic, seductive poem~
So many wonderful pairings, nightspeak lips, gorgeous~
It is like a seductive dance :D

Susan said...

Ah, she is the Night herself, or the hidden moon!
"And, that's how constellations arose here,
lit by longing and crafted by a wish"

Gemma Wiseman said...

Adore the thread of night visual alongside the sensual "sub-plot"! Absolutely beautiful!

vivinfrance said...

Beautiful, the form is accomplished with panache and delicious half rhymes.

Karishma Shetty said...

I love the first two lines and how you wind it with that 'constellation of lies.'

kaykuala said...

Somehow it is sensuously provocative. That I know is true in most parts, MZ!

Hank

Kerry O'Connor said...

How very beautiful. I love the fact that you have used near rhyme for the b lines, because they are so numerous as to become a little overwhelming.
The whole idea of a whisper drawing the sky closer and a kiss creating constellations is just gorgeous.

Daydreamertoo said...

Very sensual. Sizzling in fact MZ :)

jaerose said...

There is a sense of urgency and utmost desire in these 'nightspeak lips'..dazzling..Jae

turtlememoir said...

beautiful!
"lit by longing and crafted by a wish" - i like to think that that's how constellations come into being

Mary Mansfield said...

Sensuous and romantically naughty! Love the thought that a wish and a kiss can light up the nighttime sky.

Anders Woje Ellingsen said...

By your poem you illuminate an orientation which is scary. The wish to be overwhelmed by the nature or the culture and to get lost in the power of another being is primitive, to say the least. If constellations are established on those premises, constellations are of no worth.

Constellations should rely on respect. But you cannot respect hypocrites and fools. And hypocrites and fools are those who will not *count* as godly beings but who count as functions and roles respectively.

Give me wine ... (。◕‿◕。)

ds said...

Lovely. Thank you.

uneven steven said...

like your water moon pooling :-) and the extended metaphor. I don't mind the use of the word lies, sometimes those lying and those following those who lie need each other..... good one

Helen said...

A beautiful poem ... I must find a way to use 'nightspeak' at least once a day. What a great word!!

manicddaily said...

Wonderful. k.

Cat or Dog said...

that's the damn juciest string of words i've heard in a long time. makes me want to go find a slip and slide.

yahoo

kolembo said...

ooo...like those mermaids who lie in wait to ship wreck the sailors...!
Great words!