Thursday, July 5, 2012

Boxed Up / Boxed In

Those parts of me that left you cold,
my laugh too loud and eyes too bold,
I packed them in a box somewhere
to ease your fear a look or stare
would mark me different from the fold.

Together, quickly, we grew old.
Quicker still all the lies we'd told
to make ourselves seem much more fair
than real can be.

Now, I search for that battered, old
box to see if it might still hold
those parts of me I hid in there,
the parts of me that never cared
for doing just as I was told;
the best of me.

15 comments:

kaykuala said...

No, MZ! Let them be! forget those but we go for the good ones, so that our future is borne of happiness!

Hank

Fred Rutherford said...

Very cool MZ. Love the rhyme here, in fact the first stanza I do believe is a limerick as well. Nice write. Thanks

Kerry O'Connor said...

That second stanza says so much about the course of many relationships. The singsong effect of the close rhyme adds to the effect that these words form part of some internal repetition.

Sylvia K said...

Damn! I've been looking for that same box!!! But I think it's way too late though for me! Ah well, tomorrow is another day!

Fireblossom said...

When I read that last line, it went straight through my heart. I love this little anthem. The fact that it seems softly spoken only makes it hit home stronger. I just want to cheer for the speaker of the poem.

hedgewitch said...

You define very well the boundary between reasonable compromise and losing yourself--as you say, it's always the best that threatens the most and has to be 'boxed.' But as we get older, we are much more prone to just say fuck it, which, imo, is often a good thing. Fine writing in this, MZ, the rhyme is just right, and the balance between depth and sharpness perfect.

Carol Steel 5050 said...

I like the ways in which the rhymes hold the poem together and give it subtle force. Hasn't everyone been in one of these kinds of relationships too? At least once. Great piece.

Brian Miller said...

i def like the parts that dont want to do what they are told...i think there is a good balance of that we should keep with our maturity...

Daydreamertoo said...

Sometimes we lose our own self when we give our love to someone else and it takes a long time to discover that we gave the best of us away.
I'm glad she never cared for doing as she was told. Yikes!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Is that why we get told to think outside of the box?

my heart's love songs said...

Yah, baby! dust off that box and become YOU again! {said to your heroine}

LOVE it!!!

Anonymous said...

"my laugh too loud and eyes too bold" ... Ouch.

"the parts of me that never cared
for doing just as I was told;
the best of me." ... Ouch times three.

~Shawna

Far Beyond The Ridge said...

damn! those last four words
like a notary's stamp of authority.
i miss my parts too:)
~rick

aprille said...

So enjoyable.
Love the way it scans and the repeat rhymes strung tthrough the stanzas.

Linc said...

You are writing right through me and clean out the other side.