Friday, June 8, 2012

Empty

As I empty
of all there is
to remember,
to forget,
will I rattle like a stone in a sieve,
or will my sleep be dreamless?

For the "dementia" prompt at Real Toads

25 comments:

Daydreamertoo said...

Let's hope it would be dreamless.
Wouldn't it be nice to be 'empty' of all thought sometimes :)

Marion said...

To sleep, NOT to dream. I'd go for that once in a blue moon. Nice write, ms. poet. xo

Laurie Kolp said...

Ahh... very thought-provoking, MZ. Thanks for taking part in the prompt.

S.E.Ingraham said...

dreamless sleep seems much more appealing than the rattling thing alright ... succinct but powerful

http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/06/over-dinner.html

Kerry O'Connor said...

You image of a person emptying of all they are is incredibly moving, and gives your readers pause to imagine this happening to them too.

Susie Clevenger said...

We go between to remember and to forget..love how you wrote on the topic.

rosemary mint said...

What a thought-provoking question.

Sylvia K said...

I love it and no one says it better!

Mary said...

I picture the dreams of a person with Alzheimer's as being excruciating. I pray I am wrong.

Sioux said...

"Will I rattle like a stone in a sieve" is an incredible image...

Susan said...

Yeah, 'cause they all know that "an empty barrel makes the most noise," huh?

I'd rather make the noise, defying TS Eliot's "Wasteland"--though on a slightly different topic: “This is the way the world ends / Not with a bang but a whimper.” Bang Bang!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

What a way cool perspective on the prompt! "as I empty".......I can HEAR the pebbles rattling around in my head already............

Isadora Gruye said...

ohhhh (claps hands excitedly) I like this little gem. Normally I don't poems that are questions, but you presented is so tightly >>> I feel as though I am peeking into a journal entry or even telepathically hearing someone's private thoughts.

pardon the intrusion, but thanks!

Fred Rutherford said...

Very Cool. To remember to forget, really like the contrast in those lines as well as Sleep be dreamless. Very cool MZ. Thanks

happygirl said...

I wish for the dreamless sleep and to forget. haunting.

Hannah said...

Wow, such an apt metaphor for that empty of thought and memory...stone in a sieve rattling about. Excellent brevity...powerful write.

Helen said...

As as deeply as I wish dreamless sleep for those suffering with dementia, I know better. Nightmares, night terrors, hallucinations are so much a part of this dreadful disease. Your poem packs quite a punch!!

Other Mary said...

Really lovely and foreboding.

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, wow, this really hits home. "As I empty of all there is to remember" feels like it is happening already, but my doctor says it isn't. Apparently, as long as I'm worried about dementia, I don't have it.
Well done. I love the way you write so few words with so much meaning.
K

Margaret said...

This has so much impact. Sometimes the journey into dementia is harder than being there. Some souls (not all) seem pretty happy most of the time. Doesnt mean I want to go there, though. It is also very hard on the family members to see a loved one slip away like that....

Fireblossom said...

The stone in the sieve is inspired writing.

Marian said...

ooooh that is the question, isn't it? excellent.

Ella said...

This was profound!

FBT said...

this. is. magic. all.

my heart's love songs said...

a haunting description, MZ! {sigh} i love your writing!